I feel very demotivated, emotional, dissatisfied and upset and helpless

iam really very disappointed with my state in life, I have no job for sometime, I always wanted to be good, feel very good for others, very helping natured, show empathy even for beggars, cows in road and feed them. Unsure what wrong or curse i have. i dont have father, i cant share my problems with my mother/family… I already visited a well developed country through my job and the period is over and iam back to my country….i dont have a good life neither job nor a satisfied mind. i feel very helpless and i dont know what to do, i literally try to cry in a lonely place and silently as i cant sharethis problem with any, people around me, i just keep a smiling face and cant share these probs 🙁 i am helpless….i screwed up in interview of one of the world best no 1 company 🙁 with crying……