I could SEE the pain.  It was visible. Â
And I felt a sense of accomplishment.  It hurt as I did it – but then felt kinda good.  Like relief.  I think I finally get it.
Next step is to see if deeper = more relief.  Until (hopefully), deep enough to end all pain.
6 comments
Some day you’ll have the opposite revelation, how pointless it really is. I have scars all over my body from years past but now I don’t get the urge to cut anymore. Just creates more problems and more pain.
The Butterfly Project has been created for self-harmers who feel they are ready to stop and need the motivation or support to do so. A member’s hypnotherapist, who found this idea on an online blog and felt that it was a good idea that should be promoted as a distraction, has recommended it.
The idea is simple. The self-harmer simply draws a butterfly on their place(s) of self-harm and, if the butterfly fades without them self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving them a sense of achievement. Whereas if they do self-harm with the butterfly there; they will have to wash it off. If that does happen, they can start again by drawing a new one on.
Google it. And read about it. Have like got any issue’s what make you want to cut.?
I know you mean well by your posts….
But I am way too old to “acquire” a thousand cuts. I am just happy I finally was able to cut some. NOW I know I can finish the job once i am ready. I would love for it to be right this second…. but my mind is not there yet. Hopefully today. We will see.
But thanks for the nice words.
Take care.
I agree with @thousand cuts, it is pointless I finally realized that cutting wasn’t worth it cause the pain just kept coming back and I’d go straight back to a knife or whatever I could cut myself with. I have scars all over my body especially my back from knife cuts. U should really stop it does nothing but put scars on u and then when u see those scars u think back to what u were doing and it makes u want to scream and cry cause it’s like ur reliving it all over again. U should really try to stop if u need help u can always talk to someone I’d be willing to help here’s my email nrspuzz@sbcglobal.net =) wish u luck I hope u stop..
I don’t remember cutting whether wrists or anywhere else being high on the list of most successful suicide methods. In fact I seem to remember only about six percent of people who try it actually die…that’s not good enough odds for me! Best wishes though…
i used to cut myself. but every scar reminded me off how useless cutting was. when i used to cut myself i felt like i was pouring out my pain. but there are other ways to let the pain out.. hit something. break a glass. and my personal favorite. run. keep running. no matter what time at day it is. just keep running. and once u reach your destination. scream like the world was on fire. it really works.