I started cutting again. I stopped for a while but started again and it feels like it’s going to get worse. I’m so tired.
Four o’clock in the afternoon and I didn’t feel like very much
I said to myself, ”Where are you golden boy? Where is your famous golden touch?”
I thought you knew where all of the elephants lie down
I thought you were the crown prince of all the wheels in Ivory town
Just take a look at your body now, there’s nothing much to save
And a bitter voice in the mirror cries, ”Hey, prince, you need a shave”
Now if you can manage to get your trembling fingers to behave
Why don’t you try unwrapping a stainless steel razor blade?
That’s right, it’s come to this… Yes, it’s come to this…
And wasn’t […]
If you are considering self-harm or are currently self-harming, please read my story.
Let me be an example, a warning to you all.
When I first started, it was a tiny little cut on my thigh, made merely to see how it’d feel—and I can’t lie, it was exhilarating to me. I was thirteen at the time and was enduring copious amounts of abuse from my parents, both physical and verbal, which had been occurring since childhood. It was a strain to my psyche and after that first cut, for once in my life, I felt like I was able to deal with all the pain that […]
Why has it gotten to this point? I have waited so long but the last one is broken.
The last one has spoken words to me that verify my twisted thoughts.
My presence causes pain and suffering. It has caused this one even more than it has myself.
Why has it gotten to this point?
Is it my fault? I believe it is, but the voice within says it could be my doing and that of my existence as well.
I wish I could bring good news, I truly do, but I hold only sorrow.
Perhaps one day there will be good news.
I have not hoped for this to occur but […]
i hate my life.
i’m in my last year of high school and all the pressure is on me.
i have to get into a good university to get a degree to get a job and make lots of money for my family.
my mum is mad because my younger brother is pretty “dumb”. Teachers say he’s work doing work or paying attention in class. So my mum is worried that he’s gonna fail school.
she was ranting as usual, but today was worse. She asked me “haven’t got homework?” I said “it’s the weekend” she just ignored me and continued saying “instead of watching that stupid show”.
i guess […]
There are many times in the past I’ve wanted to cut, to hurt myself… But I didn’t. Because I’m afraid.
Now I cut, I slashes across my skin to creat scars… But now I’m afraid of what would become of me… What would my future be.
I’m such a coward… Afraid of everything, I don’t even dare to go deeper with my razor… Only because I’m afraid, of being found out, and afraid of the unknown amount of pain… Waiting for me in the future.
I’m scared of pain… But I love pain.
I’m scared of blood, but I’m fascinated by it.
I’m such a coward.
It’s just two days ago… I cut myself on my own right wrist. And today, there are over 20 cuts on each of my wrists.
Wow… it has been over three years since I have been on this site. I found a new site I have been posting on more recently called inkvite. But I would like to take a step back and tell you my story…
As a child I had extremely bad separation anxiety but none of my doctors ever believed my mom. As I got old my mom noticed characteristics of ADD/ADHD in me and she tried to get me tested but no one would test me. She eventually gave up her fight.
As a middle schooler things started getting bad. I was always picked on and bullied. […]
A few days ago, a classmate noticed the cuts on my wrist.
Today, a friend of mine saw the cuts too.
I told them it was nothing, that I only got them for being mean to cats (Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.). I know what I said was such an awful thing to say especially when even you can see the truth beyond your own lie. It’s just that I couldn’t quite think of anything to use as an alibi anymore.
I’m afraid sooner, more people would start to notice the slashes on my wrist and think I’m a weirdo, or worse they might think I’m someone […]
Last year, I started suffering from depression.
Last week, I started cutting.
Last day, I cried and told myself how ugly the wounds look.
I’m not used to seeing my left wrist so jagged and so scarred.
Is it normal to love and hate cutting both at the same time?
To love and to hate. Two contradicting things I always seem to clash together.
I never wear regular or low rise jeans. Not because I’m insecure about my body. Not because I’m “in love” with the high-waisted jeans. It’s because I cut myself on my hip. Lines and lines of tiny cut marks all over. I cut my hip and watch the blood flow and relish the pain. It’s the only thing that stops the pain inside my head.
Hello 🙂 I am going to start now…
I have attempted suicide before, but all times my plans have fallen through. I have tried suffocation through bag twice, tried hanging myself once, tried swallowing a ton of pills once, and that’s it. I cut. I despise blood and looking at other peoples injuries makes me want to faint, but for some reason it’s different with my blood. I laugh when I cut and I shake so much. It calms me, makes me happy for a short while. I wish I could be left alone though, my parents are the kind of parents who despise any problems […]
I don’t feel “right”, and I haven’t felt “right” in a very long time.
I feel an uncomfortable emptiness, and as if life is continuing on in an unpleasant repetition, and I’m growing tired of it.
I am sixteen years old, and I have obtained my GED. I am going to begin college early next year, and I feel like I’m not ready, at least, with tolerating my anxiety. I have terrible anxiety, and I have panic attacks if I’m within a supermarket or similar public setting for too long. I’ve been in the college before, being I had to apply for it, and I began sweating […]
I’ve been cutting myself everyday. and i realized its because of him. I’m officially nothing to you, but it only makes it hurt even more. nothing ill ever do will ever make him like me. i could starve myself to be skinny, but he still wouldn’t notice me. oh well
he’s never going to notice me. he says everyone hates him but I’m right here and i like you a lot. i cut myself and I’m sad it didn’t hurt as much as i wanted. oh well
i am finally home. then when i was finally able to see my girlfriend again all i could do was cry i felt like i couldn’t even move. i would want to but when i did its like i got smacked down saying no, you don’t deserve to move. then before i even notice she’s gone and it fells like i didn’t even get to talk or be with her. when i get stuck i hate myself for it. I’m screaming just stop, just get up. but knowing how stupid it is only makes me hate so much more. i understand now. screaming from the […]
If each cut could speak. If each scar could scream. They’d tell you the reason their there. Upon my arms, legs, stomach hips…every part. They’d tell you it’s for many reasons. Memories of the abuse, the rape replays in my mind. Voices shout say it was my fault…that I should abuse myself. Maybe I’m so use to it, that it’s the one thing I know well. My reasons..are one to many. Abused, pain. anger, hate….some even a suicide attempt or two. But there are a million reasons, if only they could speak…they’d tell you
i stole a pencil sharpener from my girlfriend today. i lied to her. told her I’m okay. now i have a blade. school starts Monday. all i want is to rip into my skin.
Fucking up again. Fucking up again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Hi, i am 19. I have been suicidal for about 2 and a half years now. I have been a cutter…the first time i ever cut myself was grade 9(15 years old).
It was actually an accident the first time because i got really angry and i happened to have a scizzors in my hand and when i get and i hit things, so without thinking i hit the open scizzors on my arm. I did this once, saw the blood, felt..wow.. And did it two more times… There are times when i still feel the urge to cut, but it doesnt control me anymore. […]