Stuck in my head

i think what makes things really difficult is the fact that people thing am all smiles and don’t have any problems. they see all smiles and my bubbly personality and don’t see how bad i want to choke the living hell out of them. now i know why my parents are sending me away.. am not scared or anything but, i don’t know if sending me to another country will make me change or get any better. i might prob get hit by a truck the minute i arrive so they wont have nothing to worry about any way. am so lost i don’t know what is wrong with me and i just wish someone would just put me in a box and left me. i think i would be better off alone that way i wouldn’t have no reason to think these awful things.