I read Splinter’s post http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/lets-face-it-were-all-evil-in-some-way/ which was brought to the fore and I cannot stop reading it over and over and over. And this person is gone after really fighting. After really doing the unimaginable. I sit here sad for various known reasons and the urge to do something is sitting there. But what in the hell am I supposed to do? I thought about writing a small thing about why people commit suicide. It would involve as much of the truth as I know. But i realize I get burnt out easily. If i start writing can I continue and finish? Would eyes be opened so more than just very small few take action? It starts with one but it has to be moved by many. But what’s moving? Us? Would anyone move or would we still be stuck here? I really do not know. I’d like for it to reach the strong so we can all fight together against what we subconsciously know is going on. Splinter definitely said it all better then I ever will. And that is what I am AFRAID of. It takes a unique someone to reach a mass group and touch them deep inside. Just like it takes one bad someone to keep a huge group down.
It’s really a 1 against 1 to rally the all. But how do you achieve this without selfishness? Without competitiveness? Without greed of some sort? Without the wrong people being harmed? I don’t have the capacity to really figure that out. I’m smart but I realize I’m not that damn smart. I only know what I’ve experienced. The regular stuff like Splinter spoke of here http://suicideproject.org/author/splinter/ . That’s what I know, but only by observation. Most I haven’t been granted the ability t participate in. So having read all of that I really just feel urged to do something. So I’ll do my best to write something. It might be one page or it might end up more. I don’t know right now I just have to write something and then spread it.
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I read through both posts. Thinking like he does generally makes me flip when I do. People who don’t seriously contemplate the suffering of others are the lucky ones, it can really drive you mad that certain things are happening to you and others in the world and yet you don’t do anything about it or really can’t. When you say gone I’m assuming he killed himself. You should really try to stay away from his line of thinking. People are generally selfish and don’t think about anyone but themselves a lot of the time, some do small things to help others and some don’t do anything. It’s just the way human beings are, it sucks but it’s reality. He was definitely right about one thing, when you’re that depressed the world we live in is definitely hell in every aspect.
You’re right and the truth is I’m torn. I trully am torn. On one end I want to be the selfish because I still haven’t had the privilege to experience certain things, however, on the other end I’ve always wanted to do something. Anything even if it’s small but can spread like wildfire to get people to open their eyes. Because really even if their are those who don’t think on it, there is something inside that tells them something still might not be right. They are just better at suppressing it. For how long is a whole different story.
I’m writing on the piece I mentioned above. I’m just really writing the best way I know how with all I know. It’ll probably reach only a few people but maybe they’ll do something too. The key is getting a group of people vs just one person. I don’t know if I’m making alot of sense but I do hope I am if not let me know.
If you can do something big to help someone out then do it. If you can’t do something big then that’s perfectly alright. Sometimes even the smallest act that you do for someone can bring good into someones life. A hug, some words of encouragement, etc.
You’re right about that but does that help to change the bigger thing? Don’t get me wrong what you mentioned I’m doing and others I used to do. I’m polite, I donate, I hold doors, I talk to people, I do encourage but I have not lately because I’m still struggling with my own things. And that relates to the grand scheme but also some thing in my home life I don’t have much control over yet upset me. I’ve spoken out before to my parents or friends about why I don’t do certain things. Like watching alot of tv or any at all. It’s spoon fed more than it used to be. I trully remember a time when the tv I watched taught me real things not the superficial stuff I mean the real accepting and embracing differences, recycling, helping someone in need, volunteering to build homes or at a church. How to stop bullies by walking away or telling a parent or teacher who more at the time gave a care. I look around and it’s honestly getting worse. Everythings being hyper censored and it’s the wrong things. Violence in the obvious form, teasing, over sexualizing things that weren’t doing it in the first place. But they look at me and don’t understand some have tried to baby talk me down and I still love them, but it does sadden me that they don’t realize what’s happening to them they just accept the worst, and where I live racism is being instigated by the very group who wanted to originally get away from it and they think it’s ok as long as it’s not “the others” doing the discriminating. It makes me sad and sick. And alot of it I cannot do much about but when it comes up I stand up and speak and it ends up drowned out. Just like everyone’s voice. That shadow covers it. I guess I still just don’t know what to do in the end. I’m doing it of course, but something may stop me and I don’t know if it’ll create a ripple at all.
Generally one person can’t fix one big issue, it takes a lot of people but you shouldn’t look down on yourself for being unable to. Just take it one step at a time, all those things you’ve done are good and it adds up and benefits others. You aren’t mahatma gandhi after all but you’re still helping. Every action you take creates a ripple whether it be a good or bad act. One act that may seem meaningless to you can be the most significant act in someone elses life for the better and worse. I’m not just saying that just to say it and seem positive either. I’m an incredibly negative person and I have first hand experience over how some small act can change someone’s life or change something in a big way.
I’ll keep doing what I do then. And like you mentioned sometimes I do feel what I do is meaningless and for awhile I’ll stop. I definitely feel more empty and without knowing it I go back to my old self. It’s really who I am. It feels wrong not to do something so I’m thankful to know from you and from many others that it still makes a difference to someone and that I have to do it small. Sometimes I sure can take a mouthful.
I brought that thread to the fore .. my humble advice would be to read all of the comments on that post (you can do that by googling the post name and reading the cached version) and two posts by pink404: ‘splinter’ and ‘big brother’
there are also some interesting POVs on a post named ‘splinter’s case: is humanity and mankind hopeless?’
@messi why should people stay way from splinter’s line of thinking ?
*away
Truth i read all those yesterday as well and thank you for posting that link. I slept alright last night but the thoughts of what I mentioned earlier are still running through my mind. I understand what messi was saying about splinter’s line of thinking. If i do it too long and at one time I become even worse inside. It’s extremely complicated for me to put into words. That’s why though I’m still going to write that small piece it’s going to be hard because I’m not as good of a writer as I am an artist.