21 Year Old Depressive Alcoholic

Hello my fellows, you lovely miserable wretches! Let me take this opportunity to tell you something about myself.

I’m a writer with a volatile past of drinking and episodes of severe depression. I’ve recently been sober for nearly a week, and have begun a regimen of anti-depressant medication which seemingly succeeds only in making it difficult to  attain a lasting erection. It’s all pretty fun.

The reason I’m writing here, is because I’ve sworn not to drink, and yet its absence makes me think of quite literally blowing my brains out with a pistol. I’ve always expected an early and likely violent death. It’s a choice now between drinking myself to the grave or allowing my depression to push me over the edge. In either situation I’d give myself ten years or less before I completely lose my mind. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish a few books before I’m gone.

Putting this down for others to see makes me feel better. I can’t tell my family or friends about this. I’ve already hurt them so much over the years, and the true depth of my predicament would crush them. They don’t understand that they can’t help. I’m tied to an inexorable fate.

Thank you for reading. I hope you fare well.