I fully understand why people want to be dead. Living hurts sometimes. I’ve come so close so many times, but always delay because “of my kids”. They are an excuse for being afraid to make the ultimate choice. I’ve done this for so many years. I’ve cut down and pulled out so many people who have followed through with their choice to die. Being a cop can suck at times. But. Good for them. It hurts to live, so die. Good for us.. It hurts to live, but, we continue on, for whatever reason??? They are dead, gone, and buried. If I had followed them, I would not have done some great things that I would not have done if I’d pulled the trigger or lowered myself into the belt a bit longer…. We are all going to die… Just have to determine which is the best time…???? Just, don’t hurt anyone else along the way.. Never, ever hurt someone else if you choose to die.
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Are you referring to hurting other people physically or emotionally? I mean because your last little part is so true.. we’re all going to die sometime anyway. If I get hit by a car tommorow getting my mail.. is that going to hurt my family more then if I kill myself intentionally? Most would say yes..suicide hurts those close to you more..but really why? I mean death is unavoidable.. why do people take it so personally when you just decide to check out earlier rather then later. Especially if you have nothing grand going on anyway.
Your perspective as a cop who has pulled people out and cut people down is an interesting one prs. I think it’s nice that you can understand why they wanted to do it. Makes you different from the average cop, I bet. Thanks for sharing. I hope you continue to find reasons to live. Your children would certainly miss you. Zx
I qot denained two days aqo for possesion of alcohol as a minor and at the first the cop was beinq a jerk to me (that’s Houston police for you) but as he qot know me he’s perspective of me chanqed.The first siqn of he’s way of seeinq me chanqed when he saw the words faith and smile tattoed on me.The last siqn was when the nurse said “he’s qonna need a red wrist band”.The cop didn’t know what that meant.A cop close to him said that It means he suicidal.I wanted to break down so bad:/
What I’m tryinq to say Is I think It’s so cool to see a cop here.You’d think just by seeinq me that I’d be that type of person to say “fuck the laws” and just have hatred towards yall but that’s not even It.
Sorry for wastinq your time.
AMEN to your comment of never hurt someone else when/if you do choose to go. That was one of my very first “rules” in my mind of what was an acceptable to commit suicide. That ruled out car accidents because we know far too many times others are hurt in collesions OR get in a 2nd accident because of rubber-necking the original accident scene. And I would be so destroyed by the idea that my wasted life hurt even more people.
That is probably why pills and poison was what I turned to.
I think suicide hurts more because some people close to you may ask themselves what could they have done? How come they didn’t see this coming? I should have done___? or whatever. They start to take the blame. When it’s an accident, it’s just that, an accident. The main reason I’m still here is because of my kids, but I also find that I have other reasons to not use that as an excuse. And I’m with you, if it’s your choice, don’t hurt anyone else because it’s not their choice.
@lifeishorrible: Totally forgot you are in Houston…I havent been on here for a while.