I wish I could get this feeling away from me but suicide pops into my head all day. I’m 21 years old and feel like I have already lived enough. I’m drained. I sit here now typing this in my bed n don’t even have the energy to pick my head up off the pillow. And I did nothing today. Like I do everyday. But suicide seems so nice right now. Like all this stress and sadness gone in a minute. Â But what’s so hard about it is I don’t want to die. When I think about it I just think of my mom n […]
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Funny Thing
I am drowning in my depression.
I am unable to reach out to anyone, because I have no one to reach out to. I have lost what friends I had because I was “a bummer to be around.” I did what I could do mask my feelings, but I can’t, not anymore.
I am writing this not looking for sympathy, but to simply tell my story, and maybe, for once, I can be of some worth.
I was raised with one simple phrase beaten into my head, I am worthless. Whether I am or not, does not matter when that is the only thing you feel: worthless. I […]
why why why is the question i get asked everyday .
why are you sad why are you mad why are you hurt why are you depressed . why why why
why are you cutting why are you suicidal why do you wanna die .
why do you feel so alone .
and i just sit there and cry cause to be completely honest i dont know why i dont why i am such a mess or when it began.
i dont know why i wanna kill myself i just feel like it would be the best thing .
my bestfriend kellis commited suicide today […]
I’ve lived more than half my life, only to realize I haven’t lived at all. I’ve existed, for what purpose I don’t know. Life’s amusement I suppose. I always picture those old movies where the gods are standing idly by over some sort of cauldron as the human race slowly imploads. Only I see myself a puppet guided by the slightest of hand, made to teeter with one foot firmly on solid ground and the other dangling into the abyss of the unknown. Funny thing is I don’t believe in god or the like. I do however believe in kharma and the ability of a […]
I used to be one of those people who could summon infinite happiness from even the smallest things. Seriously, I’d walk down the street, and I’d find a nickel, and suddenly that was the best day of my life. What happened to that person? What happened to me? I know what happened. I just don’t know why it did. Why did it happen to me? That’s a question we all ask ourselves right: why me? I realize now that there’s just never an answer to why me always seems to be the butt of God’s cruelest jokes. So lately I’ve found myself asking a different question: what if? […]
So, I’ve been happy. But things still don’t go how I need them to. Â Trevor will talk to me, of course. He even jokes with me and stuff. But he also still goes out with Kendall. But still. I wish it was me in her place. Gosh. The sad thing is that he doesn’t have a “type”. I can’t figure out what it is that he likes in a girl! He has dated girls that are nothing alike! None of them have anything in common. Anyway, it’s not like it would matter anyway. If he doesn’t like me, good for him. I’m not going to […]
Why put someone in the pain of lienig to the,, & make them believe something that wasn’t true. I thought you cared.. Clearly I thought wrong. This is why I cannot trust, I get lied to & hurt soo many times.. Do you hear me? Are you happy of what you did to me? Hope she’s better. Funny thing is; Your best friend said “Dang, G fucked up.. our way prettier then her & much better.’
I can’t believe it.
I’ve survived this long.
I’ve waited all day.
Practicallly gave up on him showing up today. But not even five minutes in of slipping into my bed to sleep, I get a text.
“Hey you,” it says, “Get on.” It’s from a restricted number. I don’t know who it is but I decide to get on anyways. I type in the password to my laptop. The fan is on low and the lights are off. It’s a common bedtime setting for me. Something to listen to so I don’t get paranoid of every little bump in the night. And the blanket to help me dream […]
So my horoscope tells me that its hard for me to be emotional. Is it really? Well my family tends to think so. In my mind I always feel like committing suicide. At one moment I can feel so HAPPY that my family thinks I’m always the happy child and then at the next I feel so lonely, and secluded, out of place. I never fully understand what triggers my feeling to go up and down. When I was in class 7 I lied to my friends telling them that I’m an expert at self harming but honestly I never even dared to try it. […]
So my horoscope tells me that its hard for me to be emotional. Is it really? Well my family tends to think so. In my mind I always feel like committing suicide. At one moment I can feel so HAPPY that my family thinks I’m always the happy child and then at the next I feel so lonely, and secluded, out of place. I never fully understand what triggers my feeling to go up and down. When I was in class 7 I lied to my friends telling them that I’m an expert at self harming but honestly I never even dared to try it. […]
Just found this site.
Trying hard not to give up, like old men sometimes do.
It’s 2 am in this small upstate new york town, and time to go out walking, like i do at night. Haven’t been out during the day, or talked to anyone for a week. All evidence suggests i am already a ghost. Food, i hardly eat, slowly wasting away. No more family, no more freinds. Not very social anymore.
Funny thing, seeing other people hurting always makes me cry. Other people in dispair and emotional pain, i get it, been there. I want to reach out and say “it will get better, just being alive […]
Are people that want to commit suicide mentally ill? Yes; at least that is what almost all doctors, psychiatrists, law enforcement personnel and people that claim to have moral superiority and responsibility for monitoring the world population and assuring that everyone have their (questionable) values (and judgments) will tell you. Since these very same people have never seriously considered ending it all and their mind has been clouded (over the years) by religious dogma that has been crammed down their throat. Now they think they have the right to steer their touted morals into controlling the actions of everyone on the planet. With the threat […]
Lucky him he’s moved onto a new girl i should be happy, but its only to ironic. Tanners new girlfriend is Ryanne, ive been talking to her ex dylan. She said i’d look cute with him but even though i like him i dont wanna date him, one because i wanted to give them both time to heal, and because of the fact i dont wanna date anyone cause im still not over tanner, i dont wanna use anyone as a rebound.
It’s not fair i hate all of them all this fucked up shit, i wonder if tanner knows those more recent scars on my […]
Today, i cut for the first time. The funny thing is, there wasnt a big traumatic event to trigger it. I just felt really stressed out and helpless so i decided to cut. I dont know how i feel about it. All i know is that it felt good afterwards, like a weight was lifted up from my shoulders. I know its bad to cut but i guess i felt like there was no other options for me.
I am sick inside. Alone, overwhelmed, confused, and filled with hatred for myself and regret for my life. I should never have been born. I told my dad that once, and he said it was an insult to him and to my mother. The funny thing was, he said it as if he thought it wasn’t meant to be. Well, it was. They were too young for kids when they had me. They were irresponsible, and their own parents were irresponsible. And you can probably trace it all the way back to the Stone Age. Too many people who had no business raising kids. And […]
I am 28. I have no future. I quit college 2 times because of depression and lack of money. I come from abusive family. My father had taken  it out on me during almost all childhood. I’ve been depressed since adolescence. My dreams have fallen apart once I dropped out of university. I wanted to commit suicide but didn’t have enough courage. That was my only chance to get out of poverty and misery. I failed. I have failed so many times in my life… I have probably developed another mental issue after dropping out – ptsd. Each day.  Thoughts about failing at school keeps […]
I’m a fifteen year old girl in the 10th grade and I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I’m tired of being that optimistic girl that fakes a smile for the sake of everyone else. Most of my friends know about my depression but they think I’m okay at the moment. Last night I was almost positive I wanted to die, but instead of acting on the instinct to kill myself, I just lied in bed shaking and crying. I could never tell my mom that I feel like I want to die sometimes because it would either break her heart or […]
I will never forget this as long as I live. I was 17, I’m almost 21 now, and I was taking a shower one Sunday night. It was June 7, 2009. Two days after my prom, and a month after my boyfriend, who I was madly in love with, broke up with me. I was numb. I stood underneath the water and kept raising the temperature high and higher, burning myself with scalding hot water. I felt like my whole body was withering away, and the pain was magical. I felt as if i could finally feel something again other than darkness and eternal agony.
I […]
I fully understand why people want to be dead. Living hurts sometimes. I’ve come so close so many times, but always delay because “of my kids”. They are an excuse for being afraid to make the ultimate choice. I’ve done this for so many years. I’ve cut down and pulled out so many people who have followed through with their choice to die. Being a cop can suck at times. But. Good for them. It hurts to live, so die. Good for us.. It hurts to live, but, we continue on, for whatever […]
Hey all,
I know this forum isn’t the best place for this post, but I just wanted to talk to someone and tell someone how I feel.
It was a pretty busy day for me. I talked a lot to other people ( 2 persons). But when I came home today I felt so down and depressed. I don’t know why, but somehow I lost interest in life. Every second day I feel so depressed for no particular reason. I don’t think I am depressed or suffer from an other brain illness, its just that I put my life in a state where I disconnected absolutely from […]
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