Death is a scary thing. Contrary to what people say, it’s not easy to commit suicide you really have to try hard even if your situation is rock bottom.
Before my mom died, we were at the hospital and she had already told herself that she was ok with death. (or so I thought) then she went into the chapel at the hospital and she looked at me and started crying saying please don’t let me die! What’s going to happen to me!? I just cried because I couldn’t tell her. I don’t know. When it came down closer to her time, every morning she would say “I told God to take me last night but I guess he didn’t want me yet” it hurt to hear that. When she did pass away, she was at such peace. She was seeing people that passed before her like they were there in the room. And it was just so peaceful. I would like to think she is in a good place no matter what. But long story short (sorry about that) we are all afraid of what we don’t know.
I’m afraid of the pain i feel to want to die. I’m afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid of what will happen after i die too. They always say death is peaceful and once you’re gone all the problems you had just go away and a new you is born. so why can’t a new me be born now? What is i’m stuck in a place where i feel all alone and all i have is the constant memories playing in my head like a film. So i guess for now i’ll stay here because no matter how bad the pain is at least i know it’s coming. So while you try to conquer your fear of the “after” why don’t you stay for a while too? :/
Thanks for getting that out of moderation… My mom played a song at her funeral called When I Get Where I’m Going….(not sure what you believe in-sorry in advance) and I’m not really into country anymore, but I hope for some of those things in that song…
5 comments
Death is a scary thing. Contrary to what people say, it’s not easy to commit suicide you really have to try hard even if your situation is rock bottom.
i agree with ekunokin… i have wanted so bad to commit suicide… i just don’t have the guts to do it… no matter how depressed i am
Before my mom died, we were at the hospital and she had already told herself that she was ok with death. (or so I thought) then she went into the chapel at the hospital and she looked at me and started crying saying please don’t let me die! What’s going to happen to me!? I just cried because I couldn’t tell her. I don’t know. When it came down closer to her time, every morning she would say “I told God to take me last night but I guess he didn’t want me yet” it hurt to hear that. When she did pass away, she was at such peace. She was seeing people that passed before her like they were there in the room. And it was just so peaceful. I would like to think she is in a good place no matter what. But long story short (sorry about that) we are all afraid of what we don’t know.
I’m afraid of the pain i feel to want to die. I’m afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid of what will happen after i die too. They always say death is peaceful and once you’re gone all the problems you had just go away and a new you is born. so why can’t a new me be born now? What is i’m stuck in a place where i feel all alone and all i have is the constant memories playing in my head like a film. So i guess for now i’ll stay here because no matter how bad the pain is at least i know it’s coming. So while you try to conquer your fear of the “after” why don’t you stay for a while too? :/
Thanks for getting that out of moderation… My mom played a song at her funeral called When I Get Where I’m Going….(not sure what you believe in-sorry in advance) and I’m not really into country anymore, but I hope for some of those things in that song…