I almost caught the bus last night. I felt so desperate that I actually started the process. I only stopped because I hadn’t emailed my final letters yet.
These will go out today, and I will most likely finish the job tonight.
I will let you know how I get on.
23 comments
DON’T DO IT , ……….. YET !
How.? From the other side.?
It’s not the time to joke I think. @sansesperer I hope you make a right decision.
I will post one more update, when I get to my final spot. There’s also a little thing called post scheduling.
Is your soot good.? My one is.
I mean spot.?
What are your reasons, sansesperer?
I hope that u make the transition fine. Please post
travel well
@OB1: I’ve pretty much screwed up what little career I have left, meaning what little money I have will dry up. I need to do this for my wife and son. Assuming my life policies pay out, they might not have me, but they will have money to live on. Even though I’ve had issues with my wife, she is still one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I don’t want to hurt her.
It’s going to be a few more gruelling hours at work before I can go to my spot to CTB.
sansesperer, i’m pretty sure that your wife and son would not swap you for all the money in the world.
Im amazed everytime I read a post like this. It seems so final and I have this immense urge to try to come up with some fabulous words to make the op wait and not follow through. Yet im miserable myself. I think with you its the fact that you have children. It makes me so sad to think of them missing their daddy. And I don’t even know them nor you. Are you 100% no doubts that this is what you want to do? Wish I could help to ease your pain in.some way. Help to make things tolerable for you. 🙁
please don’t. don’t let your son go without a father.
She doesn’t know how much of a bad husband I am, and she also doesn’t know that my feelings for her have changed. I still love her deeply as a person, but I’ve been grappling with other stuff.
I just think the two of them would be better off without me, before I get a chance to fuck things up ever worse than they already are.
Thanks for your kind words.
I think your son still needs you.
No, i’m a terrible role model. I think he’d be better off without me.
you’d be surprised I think.
@sansesperer I’m not sure what to say… but i guess when it feels right, it just feels right. But before you go tell me what u would have done differently had u’ve been able to turn back time and do it all over again?
@xylem: It didn’t happen last night, but I know its possibly a matter of days and not weeks.
The one thing I would have done differently is I would have chosen to live for me rather than for others. By living for others, I’ve gone and complicated my life to a point where I can’t sustain the image and lifestyle that others associate me with. I just wish that knowledge of alternative career paths was as freely available 20 years ago as they are now.
Had I chosen the right subjects at school, I could have absolutely aced high school and then followed that up with a strong performance in a Bachelor of Arts at Uni. But no … I had it drilled into me that I had to get a job as soon as I left school, and the only path for me was IT. As it turned out, I went to technical college and got a Diploma in IT, but I’ve never used it. I might as well have done an Arts degree.
YOUR son will probably have a shit life without you if you do kill yourself ! he will always think deeply when growing up , My dad didn’t want me , as my son of 28 has just killed himself after years of feeling rejected by his dad , I have loved and supported my son since his dad left us then died when my son was 20 years old BUT he needed his dad in his life
Please try and get professional help x ….
PS…..INSURANCE POLICYS , DON’T PAY OUT FOR SUICIDE
Depends…
@Listen-to-me … Re: Ins policies – that’s not necessarily rue … some policies suicide is an exclusion and others usually have a time that the policy must be current and in-force before it will pay a benefit for suicide – i think standard used to be two years … but you’d be correct if you’re talking about a new policy – although any policy can be purchased with any terms for the right premium
good hands dawg
@listen-to-me: It depends on the policy, and the jurisdiction. Where I live, there is a 13 month exclusion clause for suicide. I have held 2 policies for many years, well before these issues presented themselves. Both of these policies were also ‘automatic acceptance’ policies, as they formed part of a superannuation (retirement) plan when I was in a previous job. As such, I am about 95% confident they will pay out.
Even if they don’t, I won’t be here to notice.