i dont understand really
whats the point. whats the point in going to school. whats the point in studying or learning. or going to college, or even getting a job. well sure, you can’t mooch off ur parents for the rest of ur lives, and you need money to help u survive this damned world, but whats the point?
I go to school, sure, a few friends, but friends who dont actually know shit about me, and they’ve been seeing me for at least 2 years now. i study hard, but it’s not like i actually get any better at being smart. i just stuff information in my head, and gradually over time my heads full of shit again. i’m not that kind of super smart.
my atheltics is full of shit, i’m not gud in any sport anymore, even though i use too, i can’t even run as long as i did before.
i try to do instruments, but i can’t even tune the guitar. i tune it worst than it ryl is.
i dont have the courage to do shit, i can’t even staand up for my own diginity or pride.
basically, im a nerd, who cant do shit, who cant think striaght or act sane or have anything special bout him but waste time on watching on the web.
before making friends was no problem. i pretended to be a happygolucky guy, just do shit, act stupid, and b nice. but during those times, i knew the more i was like that, the more immature and stupid i was becoming.
now i can’t make friends. I stutter, and i can b shy somtimes. sometimes i randomly think of pissy thoughts and people stay away from me. y cant i b more less of a shy person? or a bitcy person? life wud b easier for me tht way. its hard for me to make friends, cause, no one actually wants to b my friend. no gives a f what happens to me. they only ask just “to know” whats going on if somethins wrong with me. in fact, i think im a problem child.
my parents only care cause they know AS PARENTS they NEED to take care of me. and the fact that im an only son, it makes it even worse for my family’s pride.
right now, my life is a bit f ed, cause i dont know waht the f ing do.
rigth now, i feel like i could just go and get f ed in the streets and die some sort of awesome way that would make me look cool.
my parents r very successful. they r starting a very rich company. but i the son, is nothing but shit. wat pride is that for a company’s son?
everything would b easier if i just died, so then my family can live on without having to pay thosands of dollars on my study every year, or become stressed at work and then i somehow upset them. they even upset me, but sometimes i try keeping it in just for them. and they wouldnt have to worry.
but then
that would just make life not even worth living. It wud b just another wasted life, and how my parents spent so much money on me. i cannot let all of that go to waste. im not a suicidal guy, only depressive. it would b less pridefull to just throw life away. but if i keep it, i would even lose more pride, i would do something embarassing at school every oncec in a while, or upset my parents, get them pissy, or do smething incredibly stupid. id wished all the things i did in life wud just go away! what am i to do with life now????
i’m 13 years old, and im so very very very very very very very very very very very very sorry.
6 comments
Hugs you tight. The crazy thing is that there isn’t exactly this deep meaningful reason behind school and work and all that shit. We do it for ourselves, to help define the person we are. The part of life that does have a deeper meaning is how we fulfill our own lives and the ones we love.
And honestly, parents do not have to love you. My parents abandoned me as a child simply because they did not love me. Your parents love you because they created you, you’re their miracle whether you choose to believe it or not and you are blessed with something a lot of people don’t have, such as myself.
On top of all that, you are only 13. You’re so incredibly young and your life is full of awesomeness ahead.
Tuning a guitar is the hardest part of playing it, really.
Accepting, growing, changing, is the hardest part of living, really.
You are reaching the age where you start to define yourself, to tune yourself.
You will make it, but I’m afraid it feels crappy for most of us, your peers probably feel the same way.
Good luck!
What’s the point? to keep trying; keep striving to be happy. you’re 13 you’ve got a few more years of school and then you can get out into the world and be yourself. i think you’re taking on a lot of stress for someone so young. right now you should focus on simple things, make friends, maybe a hobby,school is a useless waste of time yeah everyone agrees with that but its almost over. maybe you should just take things easy and not worry so much.
<3<3<3
Hold on. The older you get, the more awesome life will get for you, too.
your like this when your 13! i was like this when I was ten! GET HELP NOW.. tell your parents man.. depression is a real illness I think.. get some intensive shit done to you.. I dunno CBT.. anything.. I’ve dealt with shit like this since I was a teen and I am slowly realizing that it is not my fault..
DEPRESSION IS FUCKING REAL (as in it is a medical condition.. or a spiritual one I can’t tell.. medical seems a bit.. eh to me) so get it sorted now.. tell your parents and educate them might be tough.. but I’m 27 now and life is much harder because of it..
You’re 13. These are normal views on life. You need school. It helps you grow. Sure it sucks, but so does life. What does a single mother go through or a father of two with no help and no job? And sometimes, they don’t have parents or family to run to and ask for help. Sometimes their families are so bad off that it would make things worse. You’re young. You’ve got a lot ahead of you so prepare yourself because if you keep this mindset forever, what do you think is going to happen when you really are by yourself and taking care of yourself?