I want help but don’t know how to ask for it. I just cut myself for the first time in years. I can hardly see the exceeding pm in my hand from all the tears. I’m beyond saving, goodbye.
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Hey Lost and notforgotten, if you have someone to ask, then actually asking is the easy part. Well, easier anyway. If you’ve only just started cutting again try to squash it now before it turns into an addiction. It’s hard to grab a falling persons hand when it’s covered in blood ):
I feel so alone. I feel like if I took these pills no one would even notice I was dead until Monday morning when I didn’t go to class and they finally came to check on me.
If you need someone to talk to then let’s talk, but don’t OD. Even if you did you’d just end up in a hospital even worse off. I’m sure your family and bf would notice. Usually it’s the case that more people care about us then we realise.
But they obviously don’t care enough to realize that I’m broken, I’m unhappy, and unable to protect myself. I feel as though I know what. Need to d to succeed in life but I can’t bring myself to do them. But also can’t bring myself to admit that I need help. I’m useless. Better off in the ground.
I won’t pretend to know what they’re thinking, but you said you can’t bring yourself to admit you need help. Maybe they truly don’t know how bad you’re hurting, or maybe they don’t know how to approach the situation.
You’re only useless when you convince yourself that you are, stop lying.:) Just like in your last post i think you need a big push to get you onto the other side of the fence. Someone said to me the other day “why won’t you give yourself a chance?” i ask you the same.
Perhaps I don’t want that chance. I don’t want the chance to fail again. I want to stop lying to myself, I can’t accomplish anything. I’m broken and when was the last time you saw anything broken suddenly works again?
I want to die and I will soon. I’m happy you are here to make it easier but it’s still not changing the way I feel. Without help, I’m alone. When I’m alone I self loathe. When I self loathe I’m as good as dead. I don’t want a baby sitter the rest of my life…
I don’t want to be pathetic but I am. I’m accepting it.
take yourself to an emergency room NOW. Tell them what you’re feeling as clearly and coherently as you can manage. Put yourself in their hands and be safe, ok?
I’ve seen people change. People who thought they were broken who decided they would refuse self hatred. I’m a hypocrite though, i hate myself to, i’m sure most people here do. I’ll stilll try to convince you though, unless im annoying you hehe…
I’m not saying you should find someone to baby sit you, i just think it would help to find someone to lean on while you build your strength. Then you can go out and live on your own.
And who is willing to be my rock when they have their own life to deal with? Being a suicidal persons support and strength if like being water for a fish. No one can help me unless they give up their life as well.
I think being a suicidal persons strength and support is more like a bottle of water in an arid desert. Why would someone need to give up there life as well? You can have friends who support you when you need it even if they aren’t there by your side 24/7.
Is that really true though? Like now, my bf is at work and I dare not ask him to help me instead but I’m t the breaking point further thanive ever been. I want a baby sitting but I don’t want the guilt of it.
And also like now when I could really just use a shoulder to cry on the one person I have told anything to, you, is just some person online listening to me whine. It’s pathetic, im pathetic.
You don’t think he would be there for you when he gets off work? It is true though, of course not for everyone, idk your bf, but there are definitely people like that out there. I mean, just look at all the people here on SP who try to help each other, if you met one of them they’d probably still be like that.
And i’m sure most people understand you when you say you want a baby sitting. I mean who doesn’t want someone there for them at all times.
Aw i’m just some person? lol okay let’s be friends. There, now you are talking to a friend online who can be your virtual shoulder.
Thanks for the split second smile scar504 but it’s still no comparison to a warm hug or a soft voice telling you everything’s going to be okay. Im tired of trying, and I’m tired of caring.
Okay, well make sure you sleep good and long(not forever) tonight so you can wake up tomorrow feeling better. If you’re having an episode of depression please wait it out. I know you’ll say “even when i wake up i’ll still be tierd and done” but you’ll feel better then you do now. If you need someone that bad can you go to your bf? idk if he lives near you.
I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone how I feel. Not even him. You are the only person who knows. Can I ask… What is your age? You don’t have to tell me, I just wanted to know where you’re coming from.
or find one of those people who where shirts that say “free hugs”
Tell someone! For the love of all that is good, just tell someone.
I don’t think age matters but i’m 19. I’m comming as a person who cares dearly for the well being of others. That’s all
I’ve never been the one to judge by age. I believe experience makes you mature or not. I’m 20 one month till 21 and my best friend is 17 almost 18. So I thank you for being here for me. It takes a strong person to help others.
Thanks for letting me, honestly if you ever get to this place(depression) you can talk to me. I never mind hearing people out.
I’m guessing your name is Adam?
Yes, did i write that somewhere? lol
No, you’re email says it.
oh yeah email me anytime if you want 😛
Adam,
I’m lost and forgotten. I have no sense of direction. What is there to do?
– Lauren
Was that meant to be email?
No, I just like addressing people by name. It’s more personable
Ohkay:P Like i said before i can’t tell you want to do only you can tell you that. There isn’t any right or wrong way to go through life we just have to figure out how we personally want to do it. What does Lauren want from life?
I feel like I was raised in the wrong place, perhaps even the wrong time. I want to like on a beach where I grow my own food, trade fruit and vegetables for clothes and necessities, creat emu own musice, like freely, not worry about money or selfishness, and enjoy life without industrialization.
Okay, look i’ve said that more times than i can count. Living in a world where there weren’t cities only villages, where people grew the food they ate, traded what they needed and whatnot. I can’t stand having money. The idea of bills, banks,cars,skyscrapers etc drives me nuts. You’re definitely not alone on that. Is there anyway you could live somehow similar to that here?
do you have skype?