Help!!!

I’ve just tried to commit suicide 4 times in 2 and a half weeks, I’ve manged to put this off for a year and a half now but also i self harm i have for 3 years, my boyfriend knows and has made me promise that i wont do it again but i feel so dead inside i want too, I need to tell someone about this but i feel my family wont support me and my boyfriend has to much to deal with at the moment, i don’t feel i can tell my other friends as another one has wanted to, she also self harmed so i cant tell anyone i self harm as they will think i have copied her even though i have done it for longer just no-one apart from a few know. I need to tell people and i feel no-one cares or loves me and that my boyfriend likes my friend more than me he always goes to her instead of me and walks off with her and holds her hand and hugs her her prefers to talk to her than me and i think he just doesn’t want to dump me because he knows about my self-harm and suicide because at the moment his all that’s has stopped me from suicide