Irrational IS Rational. They are the same.

The feeling of being abandoned I know all too well. I know it like the back of my hand. Love hurts, being lied to is expected.. but being and feeling as if ur abandoned completely fucking sucks. Sometimes I feel like a dog who’s master has gone away and as a dog I patiently await the return of my master to no avail. Sometimes I still shed a few tears from the horrors of my life. I am matured far beyond my age in the aspect of trials and tribulations I have endured thus far. I can’t say I have endured all the conflicts which have occured in my life. For I have literally sat and took my life on a few occasions. Death didn’t win I guess.. I know death wanted to receive me with open arms, the final drop of paint on the masterpiece. Time never completely heals a person, for I have wounds that will never stop bleeding. But time dulls the pain. Like an injection to numb an area of your body. But even the injection hurts. I know hurt all to well. I know hurt so bad it scares me sometimes. I enjoy quick and painless. Blunt and to the subject. We are all living in hell. Some people just are in plesanter areas than other folks. Well death surrounds me daily and I would just love to cry at the moment. But I cannot. I can never cry. Someone else controls when I am able to cry it seems. For when I can cry it feels so good to let it out, I never wanna stop. I just wanna get rocked to sleep. I hate love and ion want it. But I need it all at the same time. And love happens all at the same time. I always accept my fate. Im down for the cause of life. Peace please come into my life. Im a bit more than a raging storm… Im welcomed in hell. Im loved in heaven. I drift on earth. Residing in my own world. Forever