questioned

today i saw a new therapist and she asked me quite a few questions i was uncomfortable answering but i tried hard to answer. she said a lot of stuff that caught my attention. one question she asked me was “what motivates you?” and i didn’t like that i couldn’t find an answer to it. i don’t know what motivates me to do anything or why i get up and do the things i do, and that scares me. i remember writing something down in a diary/journal that i was afraid of becoming like a zombie, being emotionless and not knowing what keeps me going, and know i’ve kind of become like that, the thing that i was once afraid of being and i’m not afraid of it… more often than not i welcome it. sometimes i hate not being able to feel but most of the times i don’t care. the only two emotions i wish i could feel more often are love and happiness.