I feel like a slave against an invisible enemy, I feel so controlled and contained. Once you are beaten down nothing has to hold you down, to keep you down. I feel so lost, there has to be an answer. If I was in a prison, or a slave I would know who my enemy is and plan and fight, but I feel like I can’t distinguish what the hell is going on. Am I free? I can’t answer that, I don’t really know. If anybody knows anything I really need to know.
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I am not sure that I understand exactly what you mean, but if I were to relate what you are saying to my own experiences, I would say that you already know the enemy. The enemy is your own mind. What sucks is that it is your ally and your enemy. The challenge to defeating your enemy is to know your enemy, and that is not an easy thing. I feel more often than not that my enemy is much stronger than my ally. My enemy attacks all the time, and unless I am ready, my enemy beats me into a dark place, and it is not easy to climb out. It is exhausting trying to keep the battle going, but I think we need to try. I am told that the enemy can be defeated, and I must believe it to some degree, or I would not keep fighting. The enemy is real. And if the enemy is real,we should be able to defeat it. Fight it.
Btw, if I am totally off base, and of no help to you, I apologize. 🙁