1) bf and i are back together..happy, yet really depressed that i took him back again-_-
2) i have been starving for 4 days I WANTED FOOD so i make a grilled cheese my dad catches me and says “what the fuck u think ur doing? ur ganna get so fat no guy will want u..u shouldve continued with fasting, it wouldve done good” and when i started crying “SHUT UP! ur being the biggest fucking baby! i didnt think id ever get a daughter this horrible” umm yeah:/ hes mean sometimes
3) i now have 100 new scars all over me
– this is how weak i am..
fuck my life
but this is all my fault-_-
6 comments
Every day you live in that house in spite of him saying things like that just proves how not weak you are. How is this your fault?
@scar: cuz if i didnt eat him and i wouldnt have had an arguement and i should stop talking my bf back..but i cant let him go..so me being depressed now and that ive just cut, its my fault.
Well you have to eat. How can you feel bad for not starving yourself to death? It’s not your fault you’re depressed.
I agree with Scar. Not to mention that fasting is usually not a fix, for people who fast for psychological reasons. Your biggest concern is the fact that you torture yourself for the “lack of acceptance”, your father displays to you. It sounds like he’s projecting his insecurities and anxieties onto you. It’s not your fault that he feels so incompetent at handling his affairs, that he feels the need to cast judgement on you.
Stop looking for acceptance from people who can’t accept themselves. Enjoy your time with your BF and if he doesn’t show you the respect that you deserve, be prepared to “send him packing”. You should let him know the situation in advance, so there’s no confusion. I’m not saying it will be easy, but I am pulling for you.
Also, if you have the urge to cut again: Grab some ice cubes from the freezer and squeeze them in the palms of your hands until the burning is unbearable. This treatment is said to have the same “release” as cutting or burning, without the danger of infection or scarring.
I wish you all the luck with your relationship with your BF and your dad, but know that neither of them are worth psychological torment.
i got in an argument earlier today with my mom over the same thing…
You know, no one can force us to do anything we don’t want to, we have free will, and we can also chose to leave. Leave are past behind and the pain we held in for so long, we can can be reborn. It’s never to late
I know im a stranger but If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for you.