Tonight I am 12 years old and 5 months and some days old
Tonight I might end it
Tonight I may take some pills
Tonight I will probably get chronic organ disorders
Tonight I cut Myself
Tonight I dream about Happiness
Tomarrow I will wake up fine or with regret
In a week I will be in school, Sad with mixed emotions
In a mouth my good friends will be my worst enimes
In a year I will be closer to death
In a life time I will be dead, Happy
But
Tonight I will be dreaming about Ethan, oh how I love him,he is my boyfriend,
OK this is the reason I dont Like the word “Sweetie” When I was seven I was touched in the woods he called me “sweetie” so please dont call me that…….. My mom was drunk driving and killed my little sister when i was 10 years old
43 comments
Syd, doesn’t Ethan give you enough motivation to go on?
Yes most of the time but, I know we airnt going to last forever, he will leace me in the futrue, I mean I love him truly, but I am just a preteen, I see so many people get crushed……….So many people………This isnt our first time dating its our third…so i know it wont last forever
Sorry for the extra information
Look sweetie if your 12 year old don’t kill yourself I’m sure your feelings are valid but seriously either tell your parents how you are feeling so they can help you or if you have shit parents say you don’t feel well and have them take you to a dr and then tell him, if your being abused ect. then go to the cops or tell the student councilor.
As much as you might love this Ethan guy you havent developed mentally to have relationships on an adult level, this might sound hard to grasp and I’m sure you are probably more mature for your age but there’s reasons adults say these things to kids other then ‘being mean’
In short get off the computer and go get some help and I hope you have a great life.
Please dont call me “Sweetie” not yelling its just a little personal……..FUCK my parents they are most of the problem expxially my mom……….I am to poor to go the doctors….have no incrance………..you need to read my post “How Much Should….” then you would know I cant have a “great life”…………I am sorry if it sounds like I am yelling but I am not
Boyfriends will make you even more miserable…
You’re young honey…
Stay strong and remember life will get tough but you can get through it the right way
No that’s ok, I think you are in danger though and you need proper help instead of typing things here and hating yourself. I suggest you talk to the police or the officials at your school then about your feelings or whats going on in your life if your have shit parents then you need to do that yourself, Sweetie is just a term adults sometimes use.
No ones going to tell you how to kill yourself here; that would be illegal, what I have said is you need to properly reach out for help in your real life to the people able to help make your life better; never mind about online; contact health services and at least ask them about your problems. Depression and other mental health problems are treatable.
Yes They there are treatable, but I have no money to pay people for medication or theiapiy
right now I am waiting fot my dumb ass mom to go to bed for I can crack out the knife and pills
Oh my preteen love. Hm on an off dating? there might actually be something there but no ones knows. Yeah you’re young, a little too young to be sure it’s love…but love has no age boundaries, relationships do have age boundaries considering our bodies dont officially develop till we’re in our twenties so we can’t really be sure that we’re making fully thought out decisions at such a young age…hm when I was twelve…I was an even fatter loser with no friends. Hm thats true right now fat and friendless lol…pity party but hey somedaysyd…i havent read ur post..so i dont know what uve been through…it’s hypocritical of me to say things will get better…things only get better when we try to turn our lives in a new and better direction…i dunno…im probably not helping here…dont try committing suicide by pills it fails a majority of the time and you end up with the organ damage and the stomach pumping in the hospital…idk.. :c
dont bother with the knife….i have nerve damage in my right hand b/c of that….its not worth it.
i dont care if i die or not as long as I get away from my mom atlease for ten minutes
ps i fpnt do it on my wrist i do it on my leg and shoulder
I think its more the case of an adult pretending to be a little kid to stir up people, on the chance its not; we have told you what to do to get yourself out of trouble and get some help for yourself (talk to the police/ Dr/ school officials or your parents)
SomedaySyd, is there any relative you can move in with so you can get away from your mom?
@Black Swan,I can ask my aunt if I can but she doesnt really like me though……buts its way too late right now
@User425, My name is Sydney Wick, You can find a picture of me on a link on google on the grissom air force base website, but i was 10 before my sister died…….School Officails I already tried but they just wont believe me…….Police I dont want them to come because my cousin comes and goes but he smokes weed i dont want him to get into troble……dr I dont have anymoney all the money i get goes to my mom because she steals it for ciggs and beer
Seriously, kid, don’t do this. It is waaaaay too early to see how your life will turn out.
This forum consists (mostly) of depressed adults who feel life has shit on them and even in maturity and adulthood are finding themselves incapable of coping or finding a good way forward. You have so many things coming up that could be huge turning points for your life, and could prevent you from ever feeling this way by the time you reach adulthood. I hope you don’t do anything stupid.
Your life has a lot of value, and you may just have a wonderful future ahead of you (that may sound like bullshit if you’re depressed right now, but it is absolutely true).
@Jack86, It does sound like bullshit but if there is alot of good in the futrue I wonder how much more bad will be like will I get touched again? Will I get raped? Will I get AIDS? Will I get cancer? Will I get preante at age 16? Will I get mugged? Will I never love mu true love?
Not Yelling Sorry
I already done so many stupid things what could one more do?
@Syd who knows? your life will not be perfect–no one’s is. There is a possibility that any of these terrible things could happen to you–they do happen to real people. But statistically, odds are they won’t happen to you. And if they do, you can deal with those problems then when they actually happen.
You are probably stronger now than you were when you were touched. You don’t have to fear this kind of abuse if you know you are strong enough to stand up to it. In fact, you should report this person to the police so that he cannot hurt some other little 7-year-old girl.
@Jack86, That moster was already in jail but they are already released a month ago……thats another reason i looked up “How to die fast, cheap and painless” and found this website……..If I am stronger why am I so weak, scared and have a lot of fear of the dark?
@syd haha, it’s natural to be weak and scared sometimes. But you worried you might get touched again. I know that you are strong enough now to understand this is wrong and never let someone abuse you now.
Now facing life and everyday situations takes a lot more strength….this kind of strength you will not build up overnight, you’ll have to wait for it to develop over time.
I dont have time……
One day at a time.
No I dont Have time………….
You’re 12. You’ve got plenty of time.
I think you should strongly consider talking to your aunt tomorrow about this, or some other adult that you trust.
I only trust Ethan………….I am taking my pills and startinf to but myself in like ten minutes when my moms asleep
sorry i tired i meant to say “and starting to CUT”
Syd, which pills are you taking? Can you tell me? Move with your aunt, spend time with Ethan. That monster won’t get near you again, don’t worry about him being out of jail. My uncle, yes it was my own uncle, never even spent a day in jail and it was many times that he touched me and I even got raped so I tell you, I know the feeling but there’s nothing to fear. It’s history. It’s gone.
The ibeprofhens and advil..i dont care if it wont kill me or not……..i just want to get away from my mom………….actually get medical attention……….I cant spend time with him my mom wount allow it I have to pay her 20 bucks a month just for I can email and call him………I am sorry what your uncle did to you………Its not history for me because I learned that he moved into the state i live in, thats why I need to delete my facebook but my sister wont let me……
Just don’t take too many cause you could damage your liver and kidneys. Most likely you’ll be throwing up all night :(. It’s not an easy situation but it isn’t so bad that you can’t cope while we find a better solution. This guy will do everything but come after you. If he’s still a child molester, he’ll go prey after a new victim, he won’t hunt you down. Why would he? Tell me good night before you go, ok? So I know and then post again as soon as you have the chance to.
I am not going to bed until it is light out………….i dont know if he would come back but its just makes me worried
Don’t worry Syd. Most of things we worry in life never happen.
ya most
Hahah only 3 morw hours until day light
How are you doing?
pretty good wbu?
I’m glad to hear that. Going to bed soon. Don’t want to see the sun. I prefer darkness than daylight.
Yeah I know what you mean. I hate it when the people on here call me ‘sweetie’ or ‘babe’ too. It’s so degrading. I’m not some object.
Not uts not that………….why?
lol so much time in my life….such a waste
Good night Syd. Hope to see you soon and that better days will come.
hopefully night