I have been struggling with cutting, anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal tendencies for a while, but today was the worst it has ever been. I’m actually afraid of myself. Afraid that I won’t be strong enough to hold on anymore. A few days ago my farther actually told me to either go kill myself or move out of his house. He later apoligized but the words still sting. I feel like I don’t have anyone left. My best friend ditched me, my farther doesn’t love me anymore, and my mother picked my older brother over me. I took a knife out of our silverware drawer today and took it with me into my room. I sat with it in my hand for at least a half hour crying my eyes out and debated wether or not I should slit my wrists. Finally I got up and washed up, redid my makeup and came out like everything was fine. My family barely noticed. They don’t know how much pain I feel… and I don’t know how to tell them. I wrote a note to my mother explaining my problems. But I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to give it to her or not. What should I do??
6 comments
6 comments
These are things that you should probably speak to someone about. Most people need help to overcome those kinds of issues. If you can’t speak to your family or friends you could try a school counselor, or set up an appointment with a doctor and get a reccomendation for a therapist. Try not to start cutting, it’s like an addiction and will only cause trouble down the road. If you feel like you’re breaking down at least talk with us here at SP. We’ll support you.
You struggle because you’re strong, so keep struggeling, and keep getting stronger.
you have to have faith in yourself before you can expect others to. It sucks knowing your family doesnt even notice and thats what hurts most of all but you have to be strong. you need to let others around you know what your feeling and what your thinking,its going to be hard for them to hear but it will help both you and them. maybe they dont see it and maybe they do think everything is ok with you but until you tell them they will not know forsure. I can tell your a strong person,i used to cut, really bad. I finally did something to help myself. i got a tattoo on my wrist that says love so now whenever i go to cut i see it and realize i can and i dont have to, its just a way to releive some pain but it only helps right then, when your done the pain is still there, i am here if you need to talk.STAY STRONG!
Thanks for the support <3 I actually am seeing a counselor because I'm taking antidepresants (which haven't really been working lateley) but lately I'v been slacking. Its nice to know that there are others out there struggling with the same issues. Thats why I think this sight is so important. I'll continue to write when I'm having problems. Thanks again 🙂
Hi there LoveLost. I know how you feel. I know how it feels to be in a world of lonliness. I sometimes think about killing myself too. I know what it’s like to get told to kill yourself. I know what it’s like to lose a best friend. I just lost mine last year. But you dont kill yourself, you dont give up because you got a beautiful gift…HEART. Let your heart guide you to happiness. Those who fight through the pain gain. Dont worry. Do things that make you happy… trully happy, whatever it is, music, sports, or something you really love to do. If you want someone to talk to about it, I know how you feel. I want to help you. Just remember NEVER GIVE UP your HEART is your guide to happiness.
oh and thanks for the post. Your right. I shouldnt let my failure in football destroy my life. Instead i should use that as a way to become stronger in life. I’m not going to give up wether i get anymore playing time or not, wether they remember the name or not. I know i am GREAT in my own ways. Everyone is Great in their own ways wether they realize it or not. But once again thank you. I really do hope we can talk about these things with each other.
So glad I could help 🙂 And thanks for your post, too. When I wrote that, I was in a really bad place. It helps to know their are people out there who understand what your going through. I’d love to be able to talk to you more, also. How’s football? School? Is it getting better? I hope so 🙂
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