My daughter. She needs me to survive. I’m her only life force. It’s not fair for her not to get a chance in the world, she’s so perfect. But is it any better to be born and then lose her mother? I love my precious girl. I love her movements in my womb. I love her jabs and punches and kicks… I want to do right by her. She deserves it.
But I can’t. He tells me every day I wont be able to hack it. He tells me every day how I’m already a terrible mother. He tells me everyday how she’ll hate me.
I’ve got 6 more weeks to make a decision.
To leave without her.
Or take her with me.
2 comments
It sounds like ‘he’ is your main problem. Is suicide certain? There’s no question of stayin to raise her?
I don’t know who “he” is, but “he” clearly is an abuser. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before, and he did his best to make me feel as worthless as possible. Eventually I managed to free myself and move out, both figuratively and literally.You need to seek help. Someone who starts as a psychological abuser will often escalate to physical abuse with time, and neither is something you should feel forced to live with. There are resources available at http://www.thehotline.org/ . Also consider talking to a local therapist.If you are living with your abuser, you need to think of an escape plan if things escalate. I used to keep an escape bag containing necessities (medication, change of clothing, copies of id, some quick cash) hidden under the seat of my car. Then if you feel at some point that it is no longer safe to go home. At that point, I had already planned to move out, but my new apartment complex kept delaying my move-in date, and I hadn’t even dared tell him that I planned to leave at all.You sound like you’d make a wonderful parent and already care deeply for your unborn child. I’m sure she’d return your love.