So to get started let me just say this i am clinically insane I’ve been diagnosed with multi-personality disorder i’m bipolar schizophrenic i show a lack of or no empathy all together i also suffer from ptsd. and to put that in perspective im 18. also sorry about grammar and capitalization but im in a rush. to make a long story short its hard to know me and its even harder to pretend you do so don’t bother trying. also the family card doesn’t work they’re part of the reason im like this. im killing myself because of three reasons 1 im board 2 life […]
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: to be honest i simply have grown tired of life…. I was hoping that by doing this the right way I would grow stronger … strong enough so that even I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone about the burning inside my soul. the inadequacy that I feel every time I walk into room. The shadow that I cast at dusk… It is a large shadow. It is painted with my suffering and misdeeds. I am truly a monstrosity. I am unworthy to live. and yet… many keep telling me that God wants me alive. that I ought to keep striving to survive , […]
It’s been hard, very hard, there are times in which I was fine, others in which I was simply “better”, I feel simply weak, like I’ve seen people passing for things so much more complicated than me and yet I keep asking myself. Why to live? What is the meaning of all this? Why keep feeling all this sadness, I can’t fix some things, I can’t fix my life and I can’t talk with anyone about these things, I don’t have family or friends to speak about it, that’s hard, having to act like I’m fine, HAVING to be fine,why do I have to be […]
I don’t need a reason to kill myself. I need a reason not to kill myself. I have self harmed and suffered from severe depression for around 4 months now, and this was diagnosed 2 months ago. I hate everything and everyone and every day is a depressed numb hellhole. I have no hope for the future and no motivation to do anything anymore. I am failing in school as a result and this makes me even sadder. I am losing friends and all hope. Last month I came very close to committing suicide with a train and if I had alcohol I surely would […]
I would like to share with you all a moment in my life where I felt the value of living.
I am a big fan of comic books. When I was younger I would consume manga (Japanese comics) which led to my later love in life of American graphic novels and great American literature in general. My favorite graphic novelist is Alan Moore. If you’ve never heard of him I’m sure you’ve heard of some of his works. He’s the mind behind the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta, From Hell, Lost Girls, the Killing Joke, and Watchmen. He’s a wonderful man […]
I am depressed, but I keep the thoughts to myself. Suppressing my sadness with a fake smile and loud laugh. I did what I was told to do everyday but yet,I always wake up from my sleep feeling empty .
I have no reason to live but I don’t want my mom to be upset and devastated, walking to my room seeing her lifeless child on the bed with a gun and bed sheets dripping with blood.
But I also cannot bear the feeling of being completely alone and empty, so I made a deal to myself.
In 2016, I will put an end to my depression, if […]
…When someone posts and they never post again. I’m left wondering, “are they still here?” Everyone here seems like intelligent human beings with so much on their minds, to even think that one of them is no longer here is heartbreaking. Did they get what they want? Was it painless? We never really know do we? I’m not really religious or superstitious but I hope you guys are alright. Know that there’s someone out there who cares. Please stay safe, everyone.
There is no order to most of my life.
Just as there won’t be much order to this post; my mind yields only things of its own nature and characteristics.
My poor mind, relatively young yet feeling so old. Worn down, like a war ship incessantly buffeted and berated by the interminable winds howling across the vast expanse of sea and darkness; never letting up, allowing no time for reprieve.
The wood creaks, the boards swell with moisture, and the sails test the very limits of the ropes that hold them, seeming as though they might snap at any moment.
But there is no ship. You know this, as you […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]
I graduated from college and have a Bachelors of Science. I thought more doors would be opened for me but now ten month since graduation… this does not seem so.
I held a position in manufacturing 6 months after graduate just to make some money but did not take long for me to feel dissatisfied, unaccomplished, and severely depressed. I woke each morning feeling unmotivated, miserably, and wondering why I cannot launch my career. I had no problem quitting the job. The job put me to sleep (literally), the pay sucked, the hours was pitiful, no one appreciate the volunteered overtime and… most importantly, I want to dedicate […]
So I went for my weekly visit to speak to my psychiatrist, and did he ever have the greatest advice ever….
“What’s the rush in dying, we all die anyways”
Thoughts? Anyone and everyone who has ever been told that or felt like this, please respond.
My mind is still trying to wrap itself from figuring out what I am supposed to do with that oh so helpful quote.
It’s normal to have crushes and attractions to other people right? I know it’s alright, but I’m beginning to grow worried. A week or so ago I went out with a few of my friends, and my crush was there. He’s sweet, a bit shy but still very fun to be with. As they walked me to the bus stop his friends began asking him why he hadn’t asked me out yet (they all knew, even him). It all made me fairly uncomfortable so I chose to ignore it all. Every now and then before that I found myself thinking that he was MY reason […]
I saw a therapist yesterday, to try to deal with my “issuesâ€.
I’ve decided to cancel future appointments because I just don’t see a point.
He asked me what my goals were, what I wanted from life, paint the ideal me.
There was nothing at all. No goals, no dreams, no wants, no future, no hope, no me.
Without something to aim for, I don’t see the point of going through this.
I guess in my remaining time I will see if I can find a reason.
But once the two people I can’t hurt are gone, I know I won’t be far behind.
Â
“See you on the other side” A letter to my brother, Nathan Riggs
by Joel Riggs
written by Joel Riggs
Nathan,
I was really upset when you decided to take your own life back on June 23, 2002 and still think of it almost every day. I know you must have been going through some rough times but I really wish you would have contacted one of us (your family)for support. We had our share of fights growing up that I thought I would never forgive you for. As I sit here today writing this letter I can honestly say that I forgive you. There are so many things that I held onto over the years, maybe I could have learned to get over them and […]
So I really don’t have any reason to continue living. I don’t believe in God, and think the chances of our conscious dying when we die is very likely. We are our thoughts, so we are our brain, so when our brain dies, we die as our conscious become unconscious. You can’t be aware while unconscious, not of yourself, or anything. That may seem obvious, but many people don’t realize or understand this. So that means that we, in a sense, will no longer exist after we die. Our thoughts will stop, and we are our thoughts, so we stop. There will be no darkness […]
I am a 17 year old male and for as long as I can remember have been good at everything. I am also pretty good looking but I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and not for the usual reasons either. I honestly feel there is no point in life. To get old and die one day don’t sound to good to me. Not because I’m afraid of getting old because I see no point in working to take care of myself when ill just die anyway.  I consider my self  strange because I don’t wanna die and say the world is better with out […]
I’ve stopped caring and so has everyone else. I’m struggling to find a reason to keep living this awful life, it’s not like I’ll go far in life anyways. Everyone dies eventually, why can’t I just make it happen for myself?
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