I am all alone. Â I have no friends, no one that cares about me. Â I don’t understand why I was put on Earth to suffer. Â So many things have happened to me- it’s like life has shitted on me since I was 7. Â I’ve been abused and traumatized. Â And 4 years ago, some asshole decides to not stop at a red light and mauls me while I’m trying to cross the street. Â Now I have permanent damage to my body. Â I’m in pain 24-7, and it’s getting worse. Â I’m not sure why the cosmos have decided to shit on me my entire life, but I can’t take it anymore. Â I know life isn’t always fair, but damnit, I’ve never been a bad person so I don’t understand why life has to be so against me. Â I’ve had to fight an uphill battle my entire life, but I just don’t have it in me anymore. Â I crumple against the weight of 3 decades of pain.
I kind of wish I was able to take my own life. Â It would end all this suffering. Â It would end my loneliness and quiet the endless thoughts in my head.
What makes it worse is that no one wants to be my friend. Â I’ve tried so hard to make friends, but no one wants to be with me, so I’m suffering all alone. Â It’s the pain of not being wanted, of my existence not being important. Â What the hell am I here for? Â To just suffer some more? Â I don’t understand it. And no- not with the “things will get better I’m sure” speech, because it hasn’t gotten better, only worse. Â I have lifelong permanent injuries so it’s not so easy for me to “just think happy thoughts and hope that things get better someday.”
It would honestly have been better had I not been born. Â Then I wouldn’t have had to suffer so needlessly all these years.
6 comments
I just want to say…there is a woman. Her name is Jonny Ericson Tada. She was diving in a pool, and it was too shallow. She hit the bottom of the pool, and spent a long time in the hospital. She is now permanently paralyzed. Well because of her new disability, she started a worldwide thing, call Jonny and friends, for all the disabled people of the world. This program has changed lives. I know because I went to one, because my sister is ina wheelchair as well. Well, suuicuide is not he answer. I almost killed myself, but my mom walked in on me while i was hanging from an electricall cord i set up on my porch. Thank God she did , because my life is so much better now. It gets better.Life is so hard, but give ure biggest fuck u to the world by staying strong and holding on.
i am all alone, i dont know why im expected to continue with this charade. life does not need social validation but when everything else is shit, then wtf is there?
All i want is somebody to talk to but there is nobody
and i seek it constantly
i will hold my tongue for none
u can talk to me..
It won’t get better…it will get worse, but…tell me you don’t have good memories. Or someone that doesn’t care again and I think I may go insane. Look I don’t know completely what has happened in your life. But I care, it may sound stupid to you. And you may not believe me. But I won’t give you “Aw, trust me honey it will be okay” saying but…I am saying there is always a reason your here I can’t tell you your reason, but I can say it’s good. A lot of bull crap has happened in my life and I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be depressed. But I am, I still go through hard times but I have come to realize…there is good things, good people out there! I will go through this pain but in the end I will keep going…not because I want to, but because I want to see the out-come and the people I will help and who I will end up being.
Well i will tell u i went thru rape, violence, and torture from ages 3-14…and I can say…yeah…it gets better..
Here is what I want to get out, you have your ups and downs but…you will have good times it is not always bad. Think about the good, and what good can happen in the future. Life sucks I know…but it’s the good times that count man. Live your life in happiness not in pain and suffer.