feeling alone again :( like always

well im new at this i was a big big cutter and basically threw my life away. Till i met my fiance and he changed everything!!!! i REALLY smiled not fake and laughed a real laugh he completely changed me. And i love him hes the only reason why im still alive. but now hes in court and might go to jail and im thinking bout starting again i signed up thinking maybe this will help…. maybe theres others like me who dnt want to die but just want to live, get anger out, and dnt use the anger against others. maybe im just crazy