I dont want to be like this anymore :(

If you really don’t want to be like this anymore…then change. Death is not an answer…merely another question. This would be a perfect time to talk to a counsellor or therapist. Some of this could be a chemical imbalance…some could be emotional damage…most of it is fear. Lots of people have survived this and so can you…you just have to ask the appropriate person for the appropriate help. Depression is becoming more and more of an issue in the general population…but the teens seem to be bearing the brunt of this latest epidemic. The good news is it isn’t forever…you just have to minimize the self harm you do during this time. I can’t stress enough that you need professional help…your mom couldn’t handle it as you can see…btw…your mom isn’t mad at you…she is feeling helpless, frustrated and guilty…I betcha.

At the very least…you were brave enough to come here and post this…so I know that this depression won’t keep you down for long either…but you need coping skills…not psychiatry and rubber rooms…coping skills. These you can get from a counsellor…some of them work…some of them don’t.

BTW…people look at you funny…because you have changed…haven’t you? They also don’t know how to take you. Not surprising really. In a severe depression…everything about you would scream…leave me the fuck alone. As well we tend to seclude ourselves…hibernate if you will…become reclusive…start keeping strange hours…test the patience of Job himself…let alone our loved ones. Have you quit doing things you used to like to do? How much of the depression is brought on by fear? Like seriously…too many questions…hahaha…but that’s what the counsellors make the big bucks for ayup.

Just wanted to let you know really that I was listening…although I guess that makes me nobody…sigh

Here to listen
Peace
Amakua