I realized today that I’m always lonely. I yearn for a friend, someone to talk to, someone who understands, but even when I’m with my friends, I’m so damn lonely. I don’t feel as if they want me there, I don’t feel as if they’d really care if they saw me on the roof of a building, just about to jump.
I’m such a terrible person. I try to be funny and make people laugh, I reach out for people to be happy with me, so I can be pleased with myself, but I always say the wrong thing. Say the wrong joke, say it too loudly, I never think it through.
I feel so weighed down. My heart feels as if it’s being crushed with the force that turns coal into diamonds, and nobody cares. Nobody cares, and I can’t hold on. I can’t hold on to the thread of a rope holding me in this world, the one thread trying to pull me back up. I just want to let go.
8 comments
you’re just like me (: maybe we should be friends cus we have something in common. Do you get the feeling that your friends around you just include you becuase you’re they’re friend and thats what they’re expected to but they dont include becus they really really want to.
if you wanna talk lemme know cus im going through the same thing right now as well (:
I feel same way as both of you. I have known and loved, if only briefly, the good feeling of connection when sharing good rapport in conversation. I must find someone somewhere in this world to share the kind of easy conversation like you have known each other all your lives. Like both of you I ache and yearn for such connection, it immediately takes away the aching pain I feel somewhere in my being around the are above my stomach or chest, you know it is not a physical pain really, it is a psychic pain, makes it hard to breathe sometimes.
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Do most people here feel depressed because they’re not happy about their weight
i do but i feel terrible about everything about myself.
I don’t have overweight but that doesn’t mean I don’t hate my body as much as you do or even more.
I know this is probably because we’re on a suicide website, but I feel as if you guys are the only people on earth who understand just exactly what I go through every day. I really appreciate finally having someone to talk to. Thank you!
I think everyone feel this at some point or all the time, only that they find ways to ignore it and ‘we’ don’t. What seems to give them a ‘happy’ life, I find dull.