So it is Sunday today, slept on the couch in the place I am now living.
The roomy kept coming out in the middle of the night to see if I was
going to go to my room to sleep, which I had no intention of doing ‘cuz
it is lonely in there and I prefered the distraction of the television.
I need to make it to Tuesday for the appointment to get my life back
on track. Then I will set another goal to buy myself a few more days of life.
Why do I need to “buy” or set a target to reach, just to make it through a few more days?
What is skewed with this that I think like this?
Before my leg accident, when I was working, I did not have these thoughts that are with me
now. I had an income, I felt useful, I felt like I could finally go out on weekends and
get to know this city I live in, try some new stuff like Swing dance classes, meet people,
make a social life for myself, maybe even have a life maybe.
Not now! It is back to “buying time” to live, and it is exhausting. What new things will I be able
to think of to get me through the next two days to that appointment?