in the middle

I personally have allways been in “the middle”. as the second of three child in my family makes me the middle child. i’m not thin, but i’m not fat. i’m middle. every thing i do i end up in the middle. always. it is living hell. for example, this xmas, while my brother and sister got their own iphone’s which the had wish for, i got nothing i had wish for. i got a pc. im not saying that they don’t give stuff. and that their beeing total crap. it is the fact that they dont listen to me. never. even when we’re planning dinner for tomorrow i don’t get a voice in the drafting. and it is those small things, those tiny unnoticable things that made me snap. jus after new years eve, this was last year BTW, i cut myself. only to be found by my dad in my room just seconds later. i was taken to the hospital and put into lifesupport. but that moment when i starred death into it’s eyes, that was when i realized. this is not true, they do listen. i got several stuff that i wanted, i just got caught up in the one thing that botherd me. not thinking of all the other stuff. it wasn’t to bad after all. it was just my own idea of what happen that nearly got me to take suicide. wich rings me to the conclusion. never focus on the little bad things, try to look at the good things. and from one suicidal person to another, BE BRAVE. but never focus on the bad stuff, never!