Usually, if I would try talking to somebody they would laugh at me, yell, or call me an attention seeker. I hope it’s different on here
now I know there are many people that have way worse problems, but honestly my self confidence crumbles every single day. I started cutting myself about 2 days ago and have been hiding it ever since. In gym class, people laugh at me because I’m not athletic and I’ve always been insecure about my weight. 2 weeks ago, I tried starving myself. A kid at my lunch table almost caught onto me because he saw I wasn’t eating so I ate to avoid any suspicion, but still rarely eat. People will talk about me behind my back and that causes other people to judge me without even knowing me. I just started high school and it’s hard to continue with this. Both my parents work long hours and I rarely see them on the weekends and even if I do they ignore me. My sister has cut herself before, but she only did it for popularity. I honestly don’t know WHT to do… I feel so alone but I try and keep hope
15 comments
First things first, you need to stop cutting immediately. That is a very scary road to go down and can lead to horrible things. And once you go down the road, it is hard to veer off it. I don’t pretend to know what you are going through with your eating and weight, but I do know what it is like to be judged before you are known. The important thing is to try to not let other people’s opinions or words hurt you.
Do you have true friends that like you for you?
I don’t have friends who are there for me all the time but I have friends
They wouldn’t help me though
I went through a similar situation this year only im a sophmore. I could connect to what you said for alot of reasons. I didnt have any friends at all. I have one and only one friend. This was my first true friend even though i havent seen her at all. I met her here on SP. Hope is what keeps you going. Hope is what keeps you strong. so stay strong. Dont let this pain destroy you. I feel like i have no hope anymore but i can still feel it somewhere in my heart the same way you do. I’m sorry this is happening to you as a freshman. If you need someone to talk to. You know my username now.
Well its important that you know that you are not alone. Ive faced ridicule all theough school. So have lots of people. And if you ever want to talk you can email me and i will do my best to help
Thank you to the both of you. I appreciate the support and I really appreciate the fact you would talk to me. The world needs more people like you two
Hey,
It sounds like you are bullied :/ I’m not athletic either and people laugh at me too -.- You have to find a way, a postive way, past these things though. Maybe if people are mean to you at this school you should move schools or something. I don’t know, i suck at advice -.- aha. Stop the cutting though. That is the first step. It’ll get out of hand and knock you down too. Maybe go talk to the counsellor too. Everyone here will help you and can understand you too 🙂 You can email me if you want and i can try to halp you 🙂
Gumpy
I feel for you, TIND. I hated school. Hated it. I loved class and learning, but the other kids scared the hell out of me. I actually dropped out for about a year before going back, and when I went back, I kept to myself, wouldn’t talk to anyone, kind of like putting your head down and rushing through a wind storm. Do you trust your parents? Do you trust your guidance counselor? If you can, let them help you get involved in activities inside or outside of school. They will help you discover who you are. I imagine you are a bit overweight because you use food to calm stress? Before the cutting and overeating get really out of control, nip them in the bud. Man, it’s hard to tell you to “just ignore” the other kids, but at least try to remember that they are scared shitless, too…it’s why they try to fit in with the other kids and laugh at anyone who strays outside the sheep pen.
School experiences come down to your own thoughts and reactions and the whims of everyone around you. I’ve been more or less a loner since I walked into high school, which is partially my own fault because I’m an unfriendly person anyway. Most of my friends left me behind starting freshman year, but I’ve gotten so used to being alone. I don’t believe my experience can help you because I haven’t handled it in the best of ways-isolating myself, hating everyone, wrapped up in the idea of killing myself one day. But apathy has helped me survive. Unfortunately, that’s not the ideal state of living, but refusing to let your tormentors get to you can go a long way in making it through high school. Then again, people don’t talk shit to my face, even though I act weird, I’m overweight, and I look like a loser. When you have friends to fall back on though, the assholes who bring you down shouldn’t mean as much. Not everyone is going to like you, and high schoolers tend to be insecure piranhas who like to gang up on people and rip them apart to feel cool. Easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you.
Sorry I haven’t shut up yet, but in reference to your gym class, does your school have alternatives? My school gives you gym credit for playing a high school sport, and we have several that are no-cut. You may think that option is worse, but swimming or running consistently for the team can help you get more in shape and get you out of a gym class. I’ve struggled with my weight for years, but the only thing that has really helped me is portion control. I love food too much. Weight is a self-discipline you have to want to change and actively work on changing. On top of all the other shit of high school, weight is another challenge unto itself. You can get a lot of pride out of improving your body image, and subsequently your self-esteem.
Honestly, the bullying happens no matter what. And considering the fact I need to take a full year of gym to graduate, there’s really no escape. I don’t know if it’s the same for you people, but there really is the popular/athletic crowd. Some are supportive but then I find out it was sarcasm.
Looking in the mirror is also another problem. I have glasses, acne and I’m overweight. Then I look at the other kids and I feel like nothing
The problem with the starvation diet is that I tend to eat my problems. So when I stopped eating, I started cutting. I honestly don’t know what to do.
I’ve tried going on a healthy diet many times but my parents just bring home junk food. They rarely even cook. And yeah I just started high school and so far it isn’t lollipops and gum drops
After school activities are another story. Only the popular crowd can do the sports related ones because they’re all in shape.
It really is amazing how much I can relate to you lucky star. People talk behind my back and I’ve never confronted them because they will just tell other people how mean I am and start drama.
I almost feel to scared to talk to my consoler. I feel like if people found out I’d just be considered even more of a freak, and my parents would get mad at me. A lot. My sister would think I was attention seeking too, and my whole family would fall apart. It’s already really bad. I don’t want it to get worse
Thank you. It’s really hard to keep up with school and other people. My grades are. Starting to collapse and I don’t know what to do. My language arts teacher (I know it sounds silly) but he hates me for no reason. He will literally treat me like the most worthless person In the world and then he acts like a nice guy when he talks sometimes.
Like the other day, I was talking to him and since I’m kind of scared of him I wasn’t looking him in the eyes. And he was like WHY AREN’T YOU LOOKING ME IN THE EYES O.o?!?!? ARE YOUSCARED OF YOU PARENTS? ARE YOU ABUSED AT HOME?!? And I’m like… No I gotta go. And I get bullied in his class too and he doesn’t really care.
He’s nice to all the other kids though and I almost think if he found out about my problems then he’d be even worse
My school is pathetically cliquey (if that’s a word), but it’s also big enough that non-athletes have a place on our teams. Small schools do have their disadvantages.
I had acne until about halfway through freshman year. I tried all the advertised over-the-counter treatments, but nothing worked until I got a prescription of amoxicilin. have you considered seeing a dermatologist (sorry I can’t spell)?
Starving yourself doesn’t work-I’ve actually had long conversations with nutritionists about that-but portion control does help. I understand being unable to resist junk food, but cutting back on the amount you eat goes a long way.
When you initiate confrontation and you don’t have popular support, it rarely goes in your favor. That’s why I believe ignoring them is your best bet.
Families are ridiculously complicated, and you can’t always know how they’ll react until something happens. It’s possible your counselor won’t tell your parents if you share a little of what’s going on. Their stated policy, mind you, is they inform a third party if you have thoughts of hurting yourself, you have thoughts of hurting other people, or you’re being abused (at home, I’m assuming). mentioning things like you’re weight, your social situation, etc, can possibly offer some relief. but you are right, social stigmas today will cause people to look at you differently when you’re depressed. which makes no sense, because statistics say a significant percent of the population is on anti-depressants.
teachers can be ignorant assholes. the best way you can say “fuck you” and stand up for yourself is get good grades despite the shit he gives you. hey, at least the year is almost half way over, right? do try keeping your grades up though. you won’t have something else to hate yourself for and you need them for your future (assuming you want one)
My acne isn’t too bad but I look at other people and its almost like being an imperfection in a Utopia. It makes me feel different in a bad way and my parents could never afford to send me to a dermentologist or whatever lol because my sister is special needs and she barely has any life left in her