It just occurred to me that people will read these. And people will care. Well here’s a short story of a Suicide attempt I had. I’ve never shared it, But i have mention Jake in another story, and this will revolve around him a lot. But all the feelings are coming back, I can’t handle them. It’s time to share.
It started as an innocent day. I was simply going to my best friends house. I’m pretty sure she will be reading this, so let’s call her… Hope. It’s normal for me to just walk in and yell I’m home at her house. I was accepted by her family. They loved me and it felt normal to be with them.
Going to Hope’s room, I hear another voice. Hope introduces him as Jake.
She said she wanted me to meet him, as we had a lot in common. It ended up that me and him were staying at Hope’s house. We all grew so close to each other. It felt like we knew each other for years, like we grew up together. I loved him. Now don’t get me wrong, he was attractive but he was like a brother. And he had a girlfriend.
But anyway, we’ve been at Hope’s for 3 or 4 days now. We all went to the beach. Simply the beach.
Nothing but an innocent beach trip with three friends. But, I remember so much of this day.
The way the sun hit the water was breath taking. There weren’t too many people. It wasn’t a real beach-beach, nothing but a lake with sand/gravel next to it. But I saw it as beautiful.
But this is where the real story starts.
There was a bridge over part of this lake, it was used mostly my Semi trucks. But there was a small section where the concrete was shorter, we loved to jump off that and into the lake. It was safe because it wasn’t too high up and it was away from the road.
We swam for hours. The only thing that stopped us was the faint ring of Jake’s cell phone, obviously his very needy girlfriend.
Teasing him, we followed him onto shore so he could answer it.
It wasn’t his girlfriend. it was a blocked number. He thought it was a joke when he answered it. I could faintly hear the conversation.
The person on the phone asked him to cross the street and ‘pick something up’. Jake laughed, he hated being told what to do. But he would still do it. I begged him not to go. Hope begged to. He just had to. He had to walk.
The last thing I heard was his scream. I ran. I ran as fast as i could.
There was his body. All over the street. Thrown everywhere. Blood here, Organ there, body there.
This was Jake. This was my best friend. This was the boy I met three/four days ago. This was the boy i loved as a brother. This was the boy I begged not to go.
I just fell. Right there. Right next to a bloody body. You couldn’t even tell it was him. I didn’t care what was happening. I leaned on that boy and cried. I begged him to tell me it was a joke and I was being  pranked. There was no way I was letting him go. It didn’t occur to me to call an ambulance or the police, Hope did though.
I could hear the blare of sirens. They tore me from his body. I didn’t care if it was the president, I fought back. I wasn’t leaving his body. It was just a blur. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. I was dragged to the side of the road.
I looked up and saw a police officer, he has such a warm inviting smile on his face. I yelled at him. I asked how you could sit there and smile when this was happening. I snapped. I just snapped. That day I went home.
After I was questioned. After I saw his body. After i was told to let go. After I was told he was dead. After I was told it would be okay.
I wanted him back. I wanted to join Jake, Ryan, Phoenix, and many other people who have passed.
I took 20 pills and monster energy drink.
But I’m still here. And I’m here because my one friend. Ironically her name is Suicide. She found me. I forgot she was supposed to come over. She found me in my room. I was at my dad’s at the time, but he was on tour so I was home alone. She was my only hope then.
My stomach was flushed at the hospital, and I had to go through surgery on some of my organs to.
To this day, I still miss Jake.
But I don’t regret attempting to join him. But, yet, I’m glad I’m still here.