I’m so worthless and ugly. I have no curves and a strait(ruler) body type. I’m lonely and I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t want to. I don’t want to  be sad and feel sorry for myself.  I want to feel beautiful and I want to be happy. I do want to die. But I’m scared. Besides, I’m not even worthy enough to die. My reason for feeling like this is stupid. It’s not an actual reason. My life could be worse. I hate myself even more because I feel like this when I have no reason to… No one would miss me… No one ever pays attention to me. No one loves me. The only person when ever did is dead. Gone. I should go too. I’d be with them and I would be happy. It’s hard to love yourself. Its really hard to be ugly. I’m so selfish. I wanna die…. But I can’t. I hate lying here feeling sorry for myself. I hate everything about my body. I hate everything about me. Living just hurts so much…
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7 comments
welcome to my world.
i think some of us are born to never be happy. no matter what. i can be at disneyland or on a jetski or whatever and be completely empty. i think it simply is impossible to enjoy anything about this awful life for more than a second or two….
well – huggles to ya
Well I’m not going to agree with you if that’s ok? Nobody has a perfect body and your strait body with no curves is what a lot of people like! Being different is unique! And one more thing there is someone out there that thinks you’re the greatest thing that ever roamed the face of the earth, isn’t that really what’s important? Oh who am I talking about? You haven’t met him yet.
hi,
i think you just need someone to share your feelings with.believe me you are the only one who can do that.and i will be very glad to help you dear.just give me a mail and you are always free to talk with me.
stillaliveut@gmail.com
please i would really like to help you.i know in what condition you are.i know how you feel but just don’t lose hope.i am there for you talk with me tell me what you feel and think and i promise that we can make things beautiful.just try to be positive.
Quite honestly, OP, some guys really like a natural body. I’m not talking bottom-of-the-barrel, forever alone ™, balding, middle aged creepers who will take anything handed to them. I’m 27, extremely fit, good looking, and think fake-boobed, fake-lipped, orange-skinned women are completely disgusting.
I’m being completely honest; as long as a woman takes care of herself, she doesn’t have to be some giant-breasted goddess for me to find her attractive. I actually happen to prefer smaller, more petite girls. There’s someone for everyone.
Thank you guys for helping me feel better. I woke up last night from loud thoughts, (that’s when you wake up because its like the thoughts are screaming at you) and I was so filled with emotion that I had to find somewhere to write. My sister found my diary before and she read it to her friends.. And I’ve never even told any of my closest friends how I feel. Is it weird that I trust strangers more than my closest friends?
That’s alright, everyone needs to let their emotions out somewhere. Writing helps soothe the emotions, it’s also a good way to distract yourself when your brain won’t give you a moments rest. I couldn’t sleep last night myself because I was so angry and depressed.
What your sister did was really pretty cruel; I’m sorry she took your secret and private thoughts and told the world. I don’t think it’s strange that you take solace in anonymity. You can discuss how you really feel without having to fear the social repercussions. There’s a sort of freedom in the mask.
With that said, hopefully you can make some friends who’ll care about you on some deeper levels. Sometimes creating that deeper bond with your friends requires you to step out of your comfort zone, though. We can’t have deep relationships if we refuse to go deep. Try talking to your most trusted friend sometime about how you feel, you might be surprised by how receptive they are. Take care.