I’m homosexual and don’t want to have to deal with spending a lifetime hiding and lying. Pretending I’m okay when I’m not. My parents… I don’t think they’ll ever understand me and I’m certain I would bring shame to them. I feel like the whole world will hate me. I”m a burden to my parents and to this world in which I don’t belong. I feel there’s no reason to live, only despair. The ONLY time I’m happy is asleep. I want to die painlessly, but I won’t describe here how, because I think that’s against the rules. To feel hated by so many for something like my sexuality is…the worst feeling ever. So I feel I’m left with one option. End the shame, the internal strife, the endless worry about whether someone finds out. DEATH IS THE ONLY WAY OUT!!!! I’LL BE FREE AT LAST ONCE I’M GONE.
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3 comments
how old are you, man? cuz i’m in high school so i know what you mean. i assume youre still in school
I shame my parents every single day of my life. I quite enjoy it actually !
There comes a point in life where you have to stop concerning yourself with what other people think. At the end of the day you are who you are. Don’t change just to fit your parents mould of “perfect child”.
If your still in school. Then I understand your not wanting to come out. Kids can be nasty bastards ! But if your gay, straight or bisexual, you can still live happily, and hide your sexuality, or show it. You’ll find that there are lots of people who will accept you for you. And there will be some ignorant twats that won’t accept you. But what you have to remember is that because they won’t accept you means that THEY have a problem, not you.
Didn’t you post the same thing yesterday?
Death is the only way out? Not really, the other obvious way to deal with it is to accept yourself for who you are, tell other people about it when you are ready, and whoever doesn’t accept you for it can screw off and stay out of your life, and anyone who really loves and cares about you won’t give the slightest crap about your sexuality. Seems a much simpler answer than having to die. If people around you wouldn’t accept you if they knew this secret, then they aren’t real friends or family anyway, so telling them would just help you to realize who you don’t need in your life.
It seems you WANT your homosexuality to be a curse, because you insist it has to be this big horrible thing. It doesn’t. Yes people can be judgmental and that is scary. But anyone who would judge you so much that they would treat you differently, just get them out of your life.
You have the freedom to be you. Nobody is stopping you. Except yourself.