How can I get him back?
We dated for 2 years.
I was dealing with my unmedicated bipolar disorder, so I was rather moody.
Around out 2 year, 5 month mark, I got a message from his best friend ( also my best friend at the time.) and he told me Isaiah was going to ignore me until I broke up with him or completely stopped talking to him.
I broke up with him. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
I was at my friend Ashley’s house.
We went to a party. Ashley and Isaiah’s best friend were there.
I got blackout drunk that night and ended up sleeping with Isaiah’s friend.
Someone then told him I was cheating on him before we broke up.
We got into a fight about what happened. I apologized, he didn’t accept.
He told me I was an immature ***** and a waste of existence.
A few months later, I asked if he would forgibe me, and at least be friends.
“Fuck no. How could you even suggest something like that?”
That was the last time we talked.
I’m still very much in love with him, and I don’t even think he cares or remembers me.
What do I do? It’s breaking my heart knowing he isn’t mine. I need him.
9 comments
Abby i asked you to email me 🙁 and i left my email on your first post….talk to me?
Email me.
rhcpfanatic08@yahoo.com
He probably does care and remember. He sounds hurt. Sometimes people show anger when they are hurt. And honestly, you don’t actually “need” anyone. It just feels like you do. Give it time. Try to live your life as best you can on your own.
This wasn’t just a few weeks or months ago.
This was when I was 16.
I’m now 19.
It’s been 3 years, and I’m still not able to function.
I sent him an email.
A long one.
Saying I’m sorry. I apologized for things I didn’t do. Although he believes I did.
Yes, it didn’t sound recent to me. I am going through something similar. It is taking a very very long time to get over the disappointment, the loss, the loneliness, feeling “normal”. So I can relate. I am unable to speak to the person(s). No one wants anything to do with me. So I’ve had to work very hard at finding a way to find peace. It hasn’t been working well and has been leading me down a dark path. Trying to get “over it” is killing me because I realized this one thing was connected to many things, old painful feelings, old painful memories. It has caused a painful realization.
I haven’t left my apartment in a month. Not once.
I lie in bed, hoping someone…. Something will come along.
A mailman, a burglar…. A murderer.
But not even those people want me.
My parents abandoned me when I turned 18….
I have no one.
That one love…. The love of my life…. Hates me for something that I didn’t do.
Hates me for reasons I can’t even begin to explain.
I am nothing.
I am nothing but a waste of existence.
The first thing might be to get outside of your apartment for a bit. The second thing would be to realize you are capable of great love and how beautiful that is. You were not shown love by your parents, yet, you are capable of such great love and devotion. That is beautiful and rare. And hopefully you can appreciate the humor in this, but, I would be hard pressed to not feel like a waste of existence if I didn’t leave my apartment and just stayed in bed.
Try going for a walk. I believe that if you can type your sadness out, you can take a bit of a stroll in the brisk winter air. It feels infinitely better I believe.
I took my dog for a walk. Got cigarettes.
I don’t like people.
That’s why I don’t leave.
I understand. I avoid most people myself.