You don’t realize how I hate the routine, doing the same things every day without anything ever changing! Idk, maybe some people can stand it, but I can’t. To diversify my daily life a little I keep staring here, in my laptop screen. Well, I’ll do so until I turn blind I guess. However, even this last source of poor joy doesn’t always work right. In more than 3 years of being on-line I haven’t become any wiser or made a single damn friend. So now it’s only a way to help while away the time. Miserable,huh? You may not answer.
Yeah, I’m turning 20 in less than 10 days. Though everyone I meet keep treating me like a child. It’s been getting on my nerves for quite a while, but at some point recently I started to think they might be right. What am I trying to prove? That I’m already a grown-up? Gee, this is ridiculous. I’m a hell of a perfect nonentity, a little girl stuck in the past after she fell so hard she could never get up again. Â I am such a bunny. Yeah, I feel like this.
Even so, apparently, I think I’ve finally come up with a firm, adult decision, which I believe IS the rightest possible. You can call it ”the new year resolution.” I am not scared or ashamed to state it on here, otherwise, I hope it will help somebody else who has the same problem as me and is dying to drop out of this cruel unfair world.
After endless hours of hard thinking and numerous unsuccessful suicide attempts I know how I’ll do it at last. I will shoot myself down with a gun. Even though it’s going to be damn tough to get one, it’s a sure-fire method that rarely fails, and thus is worth the efforts. Imagine, you can end your life with just one pull of the trigger. Drop your blades and pills and whatsoever and pick up a gun or rifle, if what you want is death, not attention! Seriously, who doesn’t want a fast&painless death? I bet none of you ever tried this before. Or did you?
3 comments
I wish I had access.
Depends on what part of the country/world you live in, but with the things happening in the news lately, you may fight in harder than ever to buy a firearm this year. Even if you get one, of course there are stories of people surviving suicide attempts even when they went so far as to use a gun. It’s not a guarantee either. And surviving after a shooting attempt can you leave you unable to walk, leave you brain damaged, etc. There are very few ways that I can’t imagine not working. Jump off of something high enough. Or lay under a train.
You’re about to turn 20. Finally out of the teen year BS. If you’re sick of people treating you like a kid, stick around, you’ll be getting into your 20s. It takes a while.
Why not make a more proactive resolution. Think of something that would brighten up yourself. It doesn’t have to involve other people if you have trouble making friends. It’s an important skill to learn to find things you can enjoy alone. Buy a camera, get into photography, pick up some other hobby. I know this is cheesy, typical advice, but sometimes it works.
Meant to say brighten up your life*….