Not sure what I am saying

So I guess I am having a weird day. I feel fine really. I am just finishing up on a report I have to hand in tomorrow. I am not worried really I have it 95% completed. I just feel… I cant describe it really.

I have been doing really well lately. I no longer have anger issues of any kind really. I have been doing MMA for a while now, it has really helped me to channel my anger and frustration. My depression is all but gone really. I meditate almost every day. My stomach palpitations are basically gone. I have been building core strength for about 2-3 months and I can barely feel them anymore. Perks of a six pack I suppose.

I am however still alone. But I understand that this is ok. If I get into a relationship now I would make the relationship into my life, which would not be healthy and I would be really depressed if it ended. (Special Thanks to ThousandCuts for that advice). Instead I am build on my hobbies. Getting out more and being more social in general. I know that change takes time. It took me almost a year to get over my depression and suicide. But I have. I am finished with my therapist aswell because I don’t have a problem of anxiety around women anymore. I chatted up a few over Christmas.

So yeah, I am focusing on me for a while. I want to be a happy person when I meet someone. I don’t want to be a piece of work. But that’s just me. So I am joining a rock climbing club, and a sailing club. I have always wanted to do both, why wait you know. Shit what am I waiting for.

So I guess this is kind of my way of saying goodbye to you SP. I am not depressed anymore. So it doesnt seem right for me to come here, or something like that. I know I will be drawn back every know and then, I always am. So I guess I will wean off over time.

Oh yeah I started learning Japanese as well. Why? because I can.

Hope eveyone is doing better today. One day at a time right.

<3 you all.

Ruins