Should I go back?

Well, waking up after nearly drinking myself to death, ive come to believe i need to make a choice. I’m not sure where these people go for a good mental health experience, but every time I talk to someone over 18 that has been, they almost unanimously praise it. Yet, when talking to an adolescent such as myself, I find the experiences to range from great to hellish. I’ve had friends who come out and say they had a fantastic experience with their hospitalization, and then there are those, like me, who probably need to go back but are afraid because of our last encounter. It seems that everywhere else is better than the place I went. There were no arbitrary rules, you could talk to people between groups, and you were treated like a human, you could choose what you ate, you could choose not to talk in group, you can refuse visitors and calls, all these things seem universal to everywhere except where I went.  I feel like if I don’t go back now, I’m going to end up dead, but if I do, I’m going to be haunted by it just like i am of my past incarceration. If I go later, when I’m 18 in a year (2014) Ill be admitted to the adult ward, which is apparently much better then the adolescent as they can’t shit on your rights as an adult where they can do whatever the fuck they want to you until you’re 16 and then mostly whatever the fuck they want until you are 18, but it will impact my “future” significantly, possibly delaying me moving away to college, a goal which I’ve worked rather diligently to not fuck up since I left the hospital.  I am 16 now, so here in Illinois I could volunteer to go, but judging from the last time I went, I really can’t say that I’d want to. Can anyone provide some advice please? I’m really quite stuck here :/