stuck

seriously what is the point in living like this?i mean i try and live life but even when ime happy i still feel the negetive thoughts destroying my social life,i want to die asap and i have the courage to do so its just i cant leave my mother on her own it will break her if i die,but theres no way i want to live anymore would it be fair to leave family in a mess just to be at peace or isit worth living in hell just so your family dont loose you even tho your a faliure. i dont no ime just so stuck i no i will be at peace when i die