All world’s a stage and it is very much true. We are all actors, born with scripts in our minds and hearts.
Many act as if they are the leaning shoulder, the helping hand. Not everyone is a lie though, no I wont go that far go that far for I am a lie.
I am the walking lie. What you see on the outside is not true, it’s what’s inside that is true. To walk among society as a lie pains me, tortures me. I give anything to be free. Free from this torment.
People say be strong. They say that just to show you that they care when they really don’t. Hurt is all they bring you. I am not blaming you. I am not blaming anyone. I probably don’t mean anything to you. If I did, then things would have been diffrent, someone would have reached out and set me free.
The happy memories fade and soon the memories of horror and darkness consume my mind, heart, and soul.
Sometimes I’m afraid of closing my eyes because if I do, my mind will wander to the painful past. I am tired of being a walking lie. Not being able to show people who I truly am. I am tired of caving in these feelings. But I don’t want others to suffer my rampage. None of you deserve that.
Each day and night I slip further and deeper into the abyss of hell.
I need saving from this dark smodering hole. I need a hand to reach mine and grab it before I fall. But I know that the hand I want will never come for I am too much of a burden.
No, I am not crazy, I am not insane, I’m far from it actually. And I am tired. Tired if trying to hold on and fight, trying to be so perfect, and being a walking lie. Keeping the real me hidden, trapped, and tortured.
I am ready to raise the white flag and surrender the losing war. A smile is an easy disguise for a broken person, a shattered soul. Words are just tunes that people hear but never listen. No one really cares. But I know that now it is already over so. Would it matter if I wasn’t here tomorrow? Would anyone care? Would it matter at all?
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3 comments
Nightshade, I offer you my hand, for I’m nothing but another doomed soul. My lies have taken over me and now the only direction for me is going straight to the hell I created. Perhaps, if we join our almost vanished strenght, we could gather enough power to escape. Sometimes I think ending with my life isn’t a solution. There is a voice inside my head telling me that I should stay alive, but these sounds are fading out. Anyway, if you want someone who listens to you and who will try to help, here I am.
I also will reach out to help you. I would imagine several other people on this site will as well. That iswhy we are here. To bear our pain and to bear others pain. It’s a bittersweet trade. A little of your pain, your lies, for mine. But I believe that for me, it will be easier to hold some of yours than my own. And for you, you may find talking with others the easiest way to relief.
And now, you have significantly changed something. You ask if any one care if you are gone tomorrow? In asking in posting, you have made two people care- at least. Zrack and I, we will care, we will wonder where you’ve gone.
My script suck’s. I want a new one.