Yea, i put a smile on my face but its fake. I just wanna leave this world. I tried to commit suicide so many times but i always stop because there could be one person who loves me but i doubt it. I cut. It doesnt release any pain inside. I cry all the time but no one notices or cares. Why should they care? Beats me. I just cant deall with all the hate and people telling me to just die. Its getting pretty damn close for me to actually do it.
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After reading this it feels like I’m in a position that’s an earlier stage of where you are right now. I try to tell myself there will be someone who loves me the way I love them but everyday I lose hope. I’ve pretty much accepted that the only person who can make me happy and who can help me through things is myself, and maybe thats what you need to do too