So, I’m pretty sure that everyone I knew back when I used this site are all dead. So, on the off chance that any of you are still around, let me know, if not, then I guess that I was right in guessing you’re all gone.
For those of you that don’t know me, here’s a quick description, I’m 19, graduated at 16, joined the Air Force Special Forces at 17, got kicked out from basic for medical crap. Spent my childhood getting severely abused by my mom’s husband, turns out that she cheated on him and that’s how I got here, my biological dad is rotting in prison for rape charges…and that’s about it…oh, my first attempt was when I was five, the most recent was in November…turns out that the doctor says my body “has a lot of fight in it” and I have some blood condition that basically means that for me to die, I’ll need a bullet through the brain and anything short of that, I’ll probably bounce back from…so I’ll probably be around for a bit longer, until I can afford a gun. So, until that happens, you guys know a bit about me and I’ve seen enough to be of some use if any of you need to talk or rant or anything.
12 comments
Hi. I don’t know if you were around when I was around but were not all dead. Where are you living now?
I’m actually homeless now, I’ve got an interview for a job on Monday though, so I’m hoping that works. Your name sounds familiar, how long ago were you around?
I guess being homeless is better than lin=ving in a violent situation. I’ve been on for over a year. But I take hiatuses now and then. since I came back, all the old guardians left. Some weirdness with chat and I think everyone dissapated. Good luck for your interview. whats the job for?
Yeah, so far it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I thought it would be, I do have to say that I love KFC now though, those moist towelettes actually work pretty well for staying clean. I started using the site back in…2010, I think. But I haven’t been getting on too much since the end of 2010. And thanks, it’s actually for a job training position, which I believe I’m qualified for because I used to volunteer at a pound Monday-Friday and my job was to train the dogs…so I think I’ll mention that every chance I can.
Yeah I think I remember you from way back. those kfc towlettes are awesome on the road. who needs toilet paper or showers with a kfc close by. that job sounds perfect! and volunteering shows yr a good person. I hope you get it
I thought so, and it’s funny, I’ve actually always despised KFC because I hate the food, but I may become a loyal customer once I have a job. Oh, wow, I just reread what I said, it’s a dog training position, I lose track of what I’m saying when I’m tired. And I thought the job sounded too good to be true, it actually starts at $10 an hour…so it’ll be a bit of a change going from poorer than poor to actually being able to buy things. And thanks, but I’m not sure I count as a good person, I’ve done enough bad that no amount of good will ever make up for it. And thanks, I hope I get it too.
I was gonna say, feel free to use their toilets but I wouldnt want to eat there…
What bad have you done? everyone makes mistakes. You can never change them, but if you can recongnise it, thats worth a lot. And volunteering your itime is generous. a lot of people dont make it that far.
Some shit happened, some people died, my best friend was one of them, but I’m alive when no one else is, I should’ve done something, anything, but I couldn’t. Maybe that’s true, but a lot of people don’t have this much blood on their hands.
I’m sorry. thats terrible. But it’s a hell of a burden for one person to carry, and an unfair one as well. You can’t hold yourself totally accountable. in any given circumstance, there,s a lot of ‘could have should have’ but you cant turn back the clock. all you can do is look forward. everyone has potential to do good in the future, no matter how much real or percieved blood is on their hands.
Guilt is unconstructive. channel it into becoming the person you want to be, and you can’t go wrong 🙂
Eh, I have no regrets, that was my friend’s philosophy and I’d just be pissing on his grave if I spent all of my time wishing I could change it all…it really is just that I’m alive when the others aren’t. But it probably is more than that. I’m fucked up in the head, I was convinced I was a terrible person before that all happened…anyway, it’s three in the morning here and I should try to sleep…I’ll see the only good thing in my life tomorrow and I don’t want to pass out while I’m talking to her.
I don’t think theres any such thing as terrible peoplr. get some sleep. I’m glad you’ve got a few things to look forward to.
I hope that you get the job and can find a warm place to stay. Being homeless is awful, especially since its so cold outside. *hug*