I thought one weekend of partying would have made me forget about how I truly feel, thought I would forget somehow the black hole, even if just for a little bit.
But no, it’s getting worse.
I want to die, so badly. I just fucking want to die. There’s not a point in anything anymore. I just want it all to be over. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. It’s all just bullshit.
I want to die. And I thought I would be able to hold on a little bit longer. But I am not so sure anymore. I want to end my life. I really do. I just want this pain to go away. Everything hurts. Everything is lost. I’m lost. And there’s no going back to happy lane. It’s over. It will be over soon.
3 comments
Please don’t give up on life hazeleyes. You seem like a really nice person and the world needs good people in it. I’m sorry that you’re still in so much pain, but it’s not over yet. Please keep fighting. *hugs*
Partying won’t make the need to die go away. In fact, it’ll probably come back worse than before once you wake up the next day. Stay away from partying for right now. It really won’t help.
You say “there’s no going back to happy lane,” and I don’t know you, so I can’t say if you’re right or not. But I do know that you’ll never have that chance if you check out now. God, how I know what you’re feeling now. You describe my own feelings perfectly. I hope you come back for one more day.
I know partying won’t make the need to die go away. I just wanted to not think about it for a little bit. Cus, honestly, it’s my constant thought.