Today I woke up and forced myself to be in a good mood. I was going to have a good day because I was actually going to talk to people. I would take advantage of their sympathy for my messed up life (or at least a part I was for once able to talk about) and how I needed crutches for the week because I screwed up my ankle and then got really sick. So here’s how the day went…
1st Class
No sympathy from these assholes.
Them- “Was this bad luck or did you do something stupid?”
Me- Well, sort of both.
Them- “So you did something stupid then, nice.”
Me- Sure (fuck you asshole).
Failure.
2nd Class
Talked to someone nice for about 30 seconds.
Success.
3rd Class
These people weren’t as bad, just painfully stupid.
Them- “Oh, I’ve done that before. I just put a brace on my ankle and walked away.”
Me- Well I couldn’t walk to get a brace, so obviously there’s a difference.
Failure.
4th Class (This one was bad.)
I actually know someone who I’m fairly intrested in and enjoy talking to. She seemed glad I was back, but the teacher thought I should sit closer to the door and not navigate the room with crutches. Teacher killed my only good chance.
Failure!
5th Class
Name was messing with my crutches when Female walks in.
Female- “Are you okay?!”
Name- “Yeah, these are freezinginfire’s, I was just messing around.”
Female- “Oh.”
She didn’t say a thing to me the whole class, even after that! That hurt.
Painful Failure.
6th Class
I wasn’t able to talk to anyone.
Failure.
At Home
I got a nice text from a number I didn’t know saying “Go burn in hell!” and I replied I would.
I need to not get my hopes up. I probably couldn’t be in a relationship even if someone was interested. Look how hard it was for me to even find new people to talk to. I also get really nervous people will leave, but am afraid to trust them with information which frustrates them.
8 comments
I’m so sorry it didn’t go well.. Gosh that people do suck. And why in the world would someone text you that? I’m really upset now.
Fuck, this society is messed up.
I feel bad now, I feel like I made you have higher expectations with the plan.. I really thought it would work. At least someone was nice to you, even if for 30sec.
I really don’t know what to say. I wanna punch all of those people.
If I want any hope at all I’d better stick to talking to the girl in 4th. Too bad this isn’t going to help at all.
I don’t know what was with the text, but maybe it made someone else feel better to send it. Maybe it was random and I got it. I’ll hope those are true even though logically I doubt it.
You don’t need to feel bad. Life just sucks sometimes. You encouraged me to try and I did and I’m glad I can say I did even if it sucked. The one person who was nice kind of gives me hope that there are more people like that, but I don’t know if I want to look right now.
Having high expectations of teenage humans, I should have known better.
Then try talking to her, someday, whenever you are ready. Maybe it could help.
Fuck the text, people are assholes, try not to think about it.
Yeah but still, i’m sorry it didn’t go well :\ maybe tomorrow people won’t be so mean. Try not to care, try to ignore..
1. Most people are made egoistic, which means you have to be an egoist too to talk to them or be one of them. Believe my experience, there are VERY few people who can sympathize, and even more disappointing is that those ones are almost always out of your reach.
2. Planning sucks. Most of the time. Plans do fail. It only seems to be important to plan, but actually, the more you plan, the more you fail. Do not force yourself into anything. You should know that many good things tend to happen unexpectedly, which makes them even more pleasant.
3. Just go with the flow. That’s what I do. The less attention you pay, the less pain you receive.
I typically do, and the 1st class was sort of a seniority thing. It wasn’t personal, it was “we’re juniors and you’re a freshman.” I may try again tommorow, because I think I’d have a better chance now that some of the suprise attention is gone. Now only people who actually care will say anything. I’m going to fall asleep, have fun with your friends 🙂 and don’t feel bad!
@miss Holly- I completely agree with #1, but I have to plan some, I just shouldn’t try to plan my social life (or lack of one). 3 is why I actually think tommorow will be a little better.
I hope tomorrow is a better day!
I’m going to try and sleep as well. I need to wake up in 3hours :\ there goes my sleeping schedule being kinda of normal.
I’ll try checking my email as often as I can but it shouldn’t be more than twice a day..
Email me, let me know how it goes tomorrow!
Be strong 🙂
i agree with miss holly (btw how are you?), people are egotisitic and dont like to hear youve had it worse than them and sepcially they simply hate the truth no matter what!