To whoever is reading,
I give up. I’m a 19 year old, white, lower middle class, agnostic, who lives in California and I am killing myself on February 12th, my birthday. I’ve felt this way for several months and had thoughts of suicide for years. I already decided how I am going to go. I just felt like telling someone. I attempted suicide just over a week ago but was talked out of it. This time I won’t be.
I’m an exconvict on parole for possession with intent to sell. I’ve hurt so many people. Especially the people closest to me. This will hurt them but it will be for the best in the long run. I killed someone while drinking and driving a little over a year ago. I struggle with substance abuse and alcohol. I have major depression and even though I started taking anti depressants they aren’t making me feel any different. I feel so much pain and all I want is for it to finally end. By killing myself I hope to finally do something right.
Sincerely Samuel
8 comments
That’s how my mom felt when my mom’s brother died. Except she wanted to go back in time. I also know hw you feel. Don’t do it. YOU ARE SPECIAL!!! :(. Listen to Perfect by P!nk. It helps.
Please don’t do it. I know you don’t want to hear it, but things will get better. Antidepressants take weeks to actually start to affect you, so give it some time. A month ago i was talked out of a suicide attempt and even though I still have depression and days that are terrible, i’m glad i didn’t do it. Please don’t kill yourself. Stay strong <3
NO!!!!! you cannot give up just yet, im not sure what struggles you are going throough, you shouldnt feel guilty for accidentally killing someone, it happens all the time, everyoone seems to feel sorry for the dead, yet never care to give any attention to those alive and suffering. yes life is a *****, excuse my language, but as sick of life i am, you gotta keep going..even when youre knocked down..crawl yourself to the finish line..dont give up..pain hurts..it hurts more than hell…but you are stronger than this..talk..talk sbout it..let it out..i dont care..just try :/
Maybe you should talk to all the people that you believe your hurting. If it would hurt to see you gone, then they would want to help take the pain away. At least tell them how you feel, and see what they say – they might surprise you and if not then what have you got to lose? At least this way they’ll know whats going on in your head, and maybe you’ll find just what you need to help. Thats not many days to make that kind of decision, Even deciding to which trip you should go on should take longer than that to be positive on your decision… Maybe take a month to think things out. Try some counceilling or anything new! Doesn’t hurt to try.
You are not helping anyone in telling someone not to feel guilty about a bad decision.
Never make a permanent decision on a temporary problem. No matter what you think, this will not last forever. Your sadness will go away some day, just try. I know that all you want to do is leave but there’s always a future. I don’t know the whole story and I have no idea who you are but I do know that you deserve to live. The good is coming just wait and see. Make the right choice. The RIGHT choice. Deep down in your heart you know that you shouldn’t kill yourself. So don’t <3
DeadMansHand, if you plan to go by firearm, please, please take me with you. I’m in California as well and I can come to you. I’m 27 so I’m not one of the younger folks here having a bad day/week/year. I’ve had a bad LIFE. Please take me with you.
At least you wouldn’t have to die alone. (This site needs the ability to edit one’s comments)