im 15, and people have started talking about my future. asking me what i wanna become when i grow up.
and im not even going to be alive by the end of this year. but i cant tell them that, and they grill me with questions.
dont tell me im too young. maybe im young, but im dead tired.
3 comments
Posts like yours break my heart. At 15 I was chasing girls, playing sports, smoking pot, listening to the music of the 60’s, and causing a wee bit of good-natured mayhem with pals.
I knew at 8-years-old what I wanted to be……..a saxophone player. When I asked my parents to get me one, for Christmas I got a plastic toy which maybe lasted a month. The next year I went for drums and got ones with paper heads. I went back to just playing outside, which was OK. I have taught myself how to play harmonica, and am pretty damn good at it. There will be no musical career, but the satisfaction of staying with it, and improving, finally becoming a player I view as my greatest achievement. That and being a single parent to three little ones.
I look out at today’s world and I see why you are tired. Future? What future? We who came before you have fucked things up so bad, what sort of future have we left for you? Not much of one as far as I can see. Still, each of us has a place and a purpose. I still seek mine after almost 60 years on this forsaken orb, and I guess I ain’t done yet. Hope you stick around to see how it all turns out. Hope to hear more of what is rolling around in your head.
I know exactly how you feel, deadeyes.
Everyday drags on. Everything appears blurred. You can’t concentrate, eat, sleep properly.
Your mind is always somewhere else.
Nobody around you understands what you are going through. As much as they all love you, they will wonder why you’re feeling so low.
I’m just glad that you have given yourself enough time to maybe change your mind because, for some us, it will get better.
If you want to talk, I’m here.
All My Love, LOBT (LivingOnBorrowedTime.)
Very smart kiddo keep it under your hat. Getting put away in a psych ward was a drag for me. I shoulda kept my mouth shut too.