ok so im noticing a fucking pattern.
every time a suicide attempt fails within a few days something good comes out of it.
with that ive been majorly depressed and tried commiting suicide the other night well no duh i failed.
go back to a year ago, i had a crush on my friend who had a girlfriend so i respected that and tried not to make this a big fucking deal…to late for that. my friend is really suicidal and last yr i always had my suicide notes/poems with me taped to my binder for school well he saw it and read it once he read it he never stopped talking to me..like we both finally found someone to connect with he acted like my bf the whole time were around each other..even in front of the teacher we were touchy but i just took it as a player move but i know hes not like that so i was confused but kept my mouth shut.
Once that school year ended i had his number and wed text every few days i was certain by then i wasnt ganna get anywhere. then i had to get my phone taken away and i lost all contact to him then we talked for 10 minutes when i got it back but that was it so now its been like a year since weve seen each other and have things back to the way it used to be. Saturday will be the first time ive seen him since like may of last yr.
anyway last night i was on facebook and i saw a depressing status and i txted him i played things the right way and found out he likes me(: so now were full on to acting like were dating but were not official quite yet problem is we dont go to the same school and we both have issues with each others school so its ganna be hard.
point is…if i had died i wouldve missed all this. i have a really good friend back and possibly a new better lover (:
the negative: every time something good happens it always fails.
i HOPE not this time(: