All the lonely ppl

Inhibitions are kept higher in daily life because the liability of social interactions gone awry gets too expensive to risk, except with our most trusted few.

On the Internet we can take time to write and revise a few careful words. Then others may carefully read and re-read, perhaps choosing to respond. All the while we’re not noticing the erratic body language stain(s) on clothing or industrial-strength sex toys falling accidentally out of each others’ bags.

It’s feasible to share precisely what we mean here. We can go at our own speed and I won’t feel diminished by billions of people ignoring these words.

It takes a long time to get invited inside others’ “trusted few.” Once there, we can be ourselves and let our hair down. Still we must often maintain a measure of our formal inhibitions. Gradually they fall, but close friends will still point out if we have a booger hangin’. They might recoil if I skip my med’s and frolic in full nudity.

Of note is the power of therapists and counselors, whose job it is to be trusted with our dirty laundry. It’s a good post xylem I thank you for sharing. There’s a funny article on cracked.com about this, called the “monkeysphere.”

Well it’s your post. You got the ball rolling, xylem. So the pleasure’s mine 🙂

I grew up in a tiny farm town village of just 3,500 people. It was a 25 minute walk to school, but I knew at least someone by name in each of the houses I passed. Most of us knew most everyone else, including which car was whose on the street. That familiarity ended for me 25 years ago, as I’ve lived briefly in various cities since.

Still I find myself people watching and visually marking apartment buildings, houses, and any building which looks like a gathering place (yes most all of them) in frightened awe. Part of me knows I’ll never know these people that whiz past outside twice each day. They’re in the real world. I’m on the train, separated by a giant pane of safety glass.

In fact I’ve never seen anyone that I am blood related-to because I was put straight into foster care at birth. My monkeysphere is probably distorted, simply because most people I know HAVE seen at least one blood relative. Blah blah long story short: I think that I forgot to say that daily I have the same discomfort that you’ve posted about.

Now and then if the time seems right I will gently attempt to know someone better. I’m the guy that’s polite and shy who will comment briefly about the weather in the elevator. People like quick humorous observational comments about the crazy shit we all step over and around each day, so that’s my usual tactic to get myself promoted from “vague talking shape” into other’s “fleeting acquaintance” category.

It’s an interesting phenomenon, something I struggle with too. I joke around and dump everything I feel about these things. But I don’t really have a clue. This morning I woke up and I realized I’ve read a few previous posts by xylem, and that maybe I’ve found myself a new friend in you.

Okay see you have already accomplished the toughest parts:
1.) you want something
2.) you know what that something is

Formation of these two (and actual pursuit of the something) is in my opinion, the essence of life. Especially in your case, because growing positive relationships will benefit others too. So it’s win-win and at no cost to any 3rd monkey. Now you do what everyone does: you watch and you wait and you learn to get your something.

This is all coming from a guy who’s something is death. So you gotta read this with a grain of salt. It’s been a long time since I wanted something other than death. I get excited for people who write on this site: first they’re frustrated but sometimes we get down to brass tacks. Sweet Jesus, they want something!

That IS life, my friend. I’m confident that you’ll grow closer to new friends AND keep plenty of old friends. I try for people that appear to have room in their sphere for another monkey or two. That’s about half of the people that I bump into daily. Generally I avoid parents or grand parents because society is collapsing and those people don’t have time or interest in my garbage. Their spheres are full.

changeling7110 [at] gmail [dot] com