So, I’m not sure the best way to introduce myself here. Â Let’s just say my childhood was rough and I really haven’t developed in any meaningful way as a person in decades. Fundamentally, the me from Middle School is no different from the me in Adulthood. Â The more I think about this, the more I realize it. Â Currently in my lower 30’s, crippling depression and anxiety, and general self-esteem issues.Can’t sleep and frankly just don’t care anymore. I’m tired of the pattern, my pattern, and need to break it…one way or another. Â Prescription drugs are useless, counselors are entirely too predictable, and street drugs (a recent experiment) can be fun but obviously are not a solution to better mental health.
Why not suicide? I’ve though about it for decades, but the thoughts have turned increasingly violent over the past couple of years…psychotic even. I have this belief that if you’re going to go through with it, if you’re going to pass your burden off on others who will suffer as a result of your actions, you had damn well better suffer too. Suffer more. Cutting my own throat seems the best course of action. Maybe followed by a stab through the breastplate.
I’m not sure the exact rules here, but I’m looking for a community that respects the decision to end it and doesn’t try to talk me down from the proverbial ledge. Is my thinking alone?
(iPad autocorrect is annoying as hell)
6 comments
OWWW. I suppose I am a wuss but… oww. Interesting perspective you have on that. You don’t think suffering your whole life is enough? You want to suffer in death as well?
There are some here who try to talk people down, but overall I think most are respectful of others’ decisions on when to end their lives.
Lots of people suffer, but if I’m going to cause others immense pain the only way to rationalize making the choice somewhat ethical is to punish myself. An OD on pills is painless and easy, but others are stuck with the fallout and the suffering that follows.
Pills are simply too easy. If you really and truly want to die, a few minutes of agony won’t stop you. If anything, it will reaffirm your commitment If there is hesitation, maybe death in and of itself isn’t what you’re looking for? You just want the pain to stop.
Pills aren’t really easy, because they don’t work. They’re easy to use as a cry for help, though, certainly. Your method would show you really mean it.
I guess it depends on your access to pills. An overdose of Tylonol Extra Strength would require some serious will power to avoid seeing people or calling for a doctor as your liver painfully shuts down and your your body/eyes turn yellow. We’re talking weeks of agony, potentially…
But mix a bunch of opiates, benzos, and alcohol? Especially coupled with a plastic bag? Lights out.
Ah, yes, I should have specified… the not-easily-accessible pills that a lot of people here lust after, would indeed make it easier. Not so sure about the plastic bag as many have reported failure with that. Pulling it off even while unconscious and such.
:/ i typed loads and deleted it words cant say what i want so i will just say all methods are good if done right but mistakes and incorrect application and not enough understanding into research can make it fail also dont die like a noob death can be amazing best fkin trip ever i know goodluck and die free and in love dont go lower