im already dead

I know I’m not living. I wish everyday not to wake up. I don’t believe in god because he doesn’t except my wish, to be gone. If I could tell someone anyone that ime here screaming for help would they come? I mean literally its my decision to go if someone misses me its there fault they didn’t show they cared. It is just my faul I’m gone not living is great. Not living means not caring. Especially not being hurts