I’m not feeling so good these past few months. I’ve had plans on dying but I don’t think I can do it until I’m sure that it’s going to work. I don’t want a failed attempt. I just want to stop living. There’s nothing else for me in this world. It’s great for other people with bipolar disorder to have the strength to continue living. I’m just weak and I can’t bear shifting moods so much anymore. I want a foolproof plan. Something that’s sure and final. Something that won’t catch attention or cause suspicion. I just want to disappear.
5 comments
5 comments
food for thort if its takein this long and you still can deside you feel invisbull thats clere your not week if you were week you wood of don it by now think of a 2 cubuds 1 with the bad 1 with the good if you look you can see that the things in the bad are you looking at others and seeing ther lives as perfet when thay may not be look in the good cubud put in there all you hobbeys frends est see what you have i dont know you in person but i can say this i love ech and evrey one of the people on here because were all the same were all brothers and sisters here so at lest we love you
good luck xx
I remember feeling that way.Wanting to be done w/ life,but not wanting a failed attempt.I bided my time,did my research-eventually I was convinced I HAD a foolproof plan.I learned through my research that a gunshot wound to the aorta should do the job in minutes,or less.What I llearned after waking up a month, and four heart surgeries later,is that there is no foolproof plan.If you are meant to live,you will.My surgeons didnt even understand how I survived long enough for them to operate-and they were not expecting me to survive the surgeries, and procedures they were obliged to do.When you live through a foolproof plan..theres nothing left.Not even the comfort of knowing I could end it all if it gets any harder to live.Its so much harder to go on when you expected to be dead.
That’s just terrible. Terrible and sad. Sometimes, even though I know the horrible possibilities of failing to die, I can’t stop myself from wanting death. I get so desperate sometimes that I’m thinking of cutting my wrists when I’m alone on the weekends so no one can save me even if I know that there’s a huge chance of me living. I don’t know if it’s good that I haven’t really tried it but I’m not sure if I can keep myself from giving in one time or another.
Where you from shinobigaisen?
Southeast asia