I feel sad. I’m 35, male and I hate myself today. No real reason…. or perhaps too many to list here. Am I depressed yes but today I do not care. I wish it were all over. If I had a gun I believe it would be easy but silly Canadian laws. I think the best way to do it (aside form a gun) is to run a hose form the tail pipe of my car to the window, lay back in the drivers seat and take a long long nap. I often hear of innocent people who get hurt and killed on the news…. I always wish it were me. I’m certain those people wanted to continue living but I do not, so why in this unfair life do they die and I live? I wish someone would take me hostage, or just shoot me or do something to hurt me badly. I need to hurt to make amends for the bad that I do. I make my wife cry because of who i am, I wish I would die so that I would not make her cry again. Sure she would be sad for a short while but she would get over it and have a much better life. Today i hate myself… Death please come for me.
1 comment
Hey,
Things can change, you have to realize that … You might be amazed how much talking someone who know what they’re doing can make a difference. Please consider contacting someone, say at http://www.integralcounseling.org/ … I believe you can talk to people over the phone, possible over email, and if you don’t want to spend much money, they can certainly accomodate you. It’s not about pretending to feel better, it’s about actually working through this stuff. Just call! You have nothing to lose.