I wish I could help. Will this suffice?

Wake up.
Breathe in.
Exhale.
Begin.

Is this how you choose to end?

I found this site and I decided to post a bit of poetry that I wrote a few weeks ago.  I guess the best way to sum up my story is, well…

My parents divorced, I was bullied, became suicidal, nearly thought myself to death, turned to  religion for my survival, got out of religion, and found myself amongst the remains.

Today I mainly try to keep my friends alive while I sit and wait for a chance to actually do something. Luckily enough none of the people I know have committed suicide, and I guess that could be considered a small victory? But enough about that. Here’s my poetry. I hope you guys enjoy it, or get some peace from it, or something.  I don’t write for enjoyment or entertainment – I write for change.

This poem was  something of an homage to my friends and family who had trouble living, and a lot of it is personal things relating specifically to them, but I figured some of you could relate to it as well.  Maybe this will affect you, maybe it won’t.

I wish I could help. Will this suffice?

I call it “A Lie.”

So you tell me,
“This life is a lie.”
Are you so sure
you’re not afraid to die?

A mother’s love can calm your heart
but a daddy’s hand can hold your joy
and then a life flashes and before your eyes
13th birthday, there’s your surprise

A broken family
amongst a field of bodies
A broken bottle in his hand
Broken skin upon your wrist

Are you so sure
you’re not afraid to die?
I think you’re lying when you tell me
your life is a lie.

Don’t even try to say the rites
you’ve still got the will to fight
I know you’ve got it in you, friend
so don’t give up, no, don’t give in.

You died twice already
once when born,
once when broken
What is death to the ones forgotten?

Can you tell me when you last smiled
or the last time you pretended to laugh
as your miseries flooded before you
spilled out on the razor for the world to see?

A strong man isn’t one who doesn’t cry
but one who isn’t afraid to.
Which life do you choose, boy,
glory or obscurity?

Love lost to you isn’t love never found.
It’s a love that you’d never confess.
But little do you know it’s reciprocated
even though it’s the one thing you hated.

I used to think he’d love,
but I found myself standing
in the pool of sorrow
I found forever expanding.

Don’t hold on to things
which aren’t even there.
Or tell me you hate the only ones
for which you even care.

Don’t try to tell me you’re apathetic
or even pretend to say you’re “just asthmatic.”
Like the sheer weight of the loss has knocked your breath away.
A mere gust from my lips will show you just what to say.

I know you’ve been hurt.
It’s hard to swallow.
But you’re alive now,
you’re waking up.

Don’t let the nightmares consume you
nor the terrors control you
nor the demons take hold.
You’ve got a royal flush and world be damned if you fold.

I’ve been there, I’m battle-scarred
but don’t down that bottle.
I’ve been there, I’m telling you
You’re more than a kaleidoscope of misery.

You aren’t what you used to be
or even what you are.
You’re everything you could be
so take your place among the stars.

A monster? A villain?
Maybe a masked rogue in stride.
But you, friend, can be much more.
This is not your opportunity to die.

I love you, my friend,
from the bottom of my heart.
Cut the rope, flush the blade.
Live life to the fullest.

Your life is not a lie.
You’re much more than you know.
Your story is not yet written, and as for me…
Well, friend, why don’t you show me how it goes?

Never be afraid to die,
but be afraid to ever stop living.
For once you forget who you might’ve been
you are who you will once become.

It’s time to get up, friends.
It’s time to start our fight.
It might begin before we do…
And man, that just ain’t right.

So declare your allegiance
tell me your story
as we cast out our sorrows
In the name of sweet glory.

Man is God.
Now reign as one.